Couple’s Sexual Escapade in Ocean Goes Horribly Wrong

Sex on the beach is terribly romantic -- but sex in the beach? Not so much. At least not if you're this unlucky Italian couple, who reportedly got stuck together while having sex in the empty beach at Porto San Giorgio. Reportedly, "suction" from the ocean somehow made the man unable to finish what he'd started, and the two had to crab-walk it to a local hospital. That's not awkward.

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Once the couple realized they were fused together -- literally -- they managed to grab the attention of a woman walking on shore, and she gave them a towel after they somehow managed to make it out of the water.

There, emergency services were called and the two were rushed to a local hospital. There, the woman was reportedly given a drug to dilate her uterus and the couple were pried apart.

I'm just going to ask the obvious here: How big was this guy? Dang.

Just in case you were thinking about trying this on your Caribbean vacation and now are thinking twice, Dr. Oscar A. Aguirre, M.D., a pelvic surgeon, OB/GYN, urogynecologist and expert in sex and sexual medicine, says not to worry. He thinks the whole thing had less to do with the ocean and more to do with the couple.

"It was likely the perfect storm of two independent conditions occurring simultaneously, unrelated to being in sea water. It's a rare situation, but possible," he says. "The man could have priapism [the inability to lose an erection] as the result of having taken male enhancement medicine [like Viagra]. If he were also using a gentleman's ring, which sometimes gets stuck, this could further prevent loss of the erection and in fact could make it grow to a significantly larger size. If this happens, the woman may contract around him due to pain or fear, to the point that he can't pull out."

In other words, he assures us ocean luvahs: "Ocean suction doesn’t seem to be a culprit."

More from The Stir: 10 of the Absolute Worst Places to Have Sex (PHOTOS)

Whew!

Sex in the ocean is one of those things that I think is on everyone's fantasy list -- along with sex on an airplane and sex in a hot air balloon. (Okay, maybe not that last one.) I personally would be too worried about sharks to have much fun in the sea, but for those of you who are into this kind of thing, guess you can keep ocean nookie on your sexual bucket list.

Have you ever tried to have sex in water?

 

Image via David Cooper/Flickr

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