How to Have Phone Sex With Your Husband Without Sounding Silly

phone sexIt sounds quaintly old-fashioned, but not too long ago phone sex was very much hot and happening. Sexting may be all the rage right now, but there's something incredibly intimate and exciting about actually hearing another person's voice when you're doing something naughty. Not to mention, now that we have videoconferencing technology like Skype and FaceTime, phone sex has a visual element that ramps up the fun even more.

Whether you've got a husband in the military stationed far away, or your man goes on a lot of business trips, or you're just looking for new things to try together, this is a super sexy way to connect with your guy.

But it definitely takes some daring. If you've long been curious about phone sex but worried you'd sound ridiculous, fear not. You just need some prep and practice. There are tricks to making it work that anyone can try -- even you!


1. Agree on the right time and place. "If you’re feeling frisky in the middle of the day and decide to a make a 'surprise' FaceTime call in your naughty policewoman costume with your nipples out, your man might pick up in a conference room surrounded by his colleagues," cautions sexy lifestyle expert Dana B. Myers. "Not good."

Spontaneity is good for sex in general. But when it comes to phone sex, plan ahead so you can make sure you have the privacy and time to focus on each other without interruptions or unintended audience members -- hello, like the kids!

2. Work out your best video angles, positions, and lighting in advance. "Seeing yourself naked and exposed in an unflattering light can be alarming," says Myers, "and take you out of your seductive mindset in a flash." So play around while looking at yourself on your phone before you start your date. "With a little solo practice, you'll find the camera angles and positions that make you look and feel like a gorgeous goddess of love, accentuating your curves and building the sexy confidence you need to get turned on and ready to play," she says.

More from The Stir: 7 Ways to Look Pretty on Skype (for a Change!)

3. Plan what to say and do before you start. This is one more valuable bit of planning that pays off. "Think about sexy scenarios to act out," Myers advises. This could involve wearing a costume or being naked in the kitchen with just an apron on. "Your whole FaceTime session could simply be pleasuring yourself, which, if you don't already know, is pretty much every man's dream to watch." 

4. Use your own words. "Think about the language you're comfortable using, so that you don't feel tongue-tied and clam up the minute you get going," Myers recommends. "Practice a little bit beforehand describing what you're doing to yourself or what you'd do to him if you were together."

5. Be descriptive, very descriptive. Especially if there's no video to your phone sex date, be sure to describe what you're wearing and doing in detail. "It’s sexy for your partner to hear you talk about what you’re doing, especially if he thinks he inspired it," says former phone sex operator Miranda Austin.

6. Play with your voice. Do NOT use the same voice you use when you ask your husband to pick up diapers on his way home from work! "Lower your voice until it's just louder than a whisper," Stacey Weiss, author of Secrets of a Phone Sex Operator, tells Cosmo magazine. "And elongate your words — stretching them out sounds soothing and sexy." 

7. Ask questions. Still wondering what to say? Erotic expert Susie Bright has an easy suggestion for phone sex beginners: "Ask leading questions. Listen. Use euphemisms to make you both squirm. It's not four-letter words that make or break a phone call."

But you also want to involve him too and not just make it a lusty monologue.

"Good phone sex is like a game of tennis," says phone sex operator Sindy St. James. "It's a constant back-and-forth and give-and-take. Be descriptive, but then ask a question to allow your partner to take over. After painting a vivid vision of how you would kiss your partner from head to lower body, ask, 'How do you want me to use the tip of my tongue?'"

Feeling inspired now? A little bit of planning goes a long way. Keep in mind, your husband my have some frisky ideas of his own. Remember, the golden rule of improvisation theater applies here: Say "yes" rather than "no, that's a dumb idea." Above all, just relax and have fun with it. When taken lightly, it can be just the extra spice your long-term relationship needs!

Have you tried phone sex lately? What tips do you suggest?


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