One-Night Stands Aren't All They're Cracked Up to Be When You're a Mom

woman in bed having regrets
I admit that back in the day, I got quite a thrill out of one-night stands. There was something hot about meeting someone and hooking up with absolutely no strings attached.

Well, maybe it's because I'm older now, and I'm a mom, or just more sexually experienced. But these days the idea of a one-night stand completely turns me off. Grosses me out, even.

Lest you think I'm a prude or a fuddy duddy, allow me to explain why I like to keep my sexual activity within the confines of a relationship of some kind.


I think most of us can say that we've had a one-night stand, or, um, 20. Maybe more. (No, that's not "my number" by the way.)

But let's be completely honest here. The reason why they were so hot was because of the excitement of it all. You meet someone at a party or a bar. You're a little tipsy. Or a lot. And before you know it, you're doing the deed, then waking up the next morning sneaking out the door with some level of satisfaction.

Or shame.

And if you do actually remember what happened, I'm hard-pressed to imagine that it was incredibly satisfying.

Of course, there's the whole issue of dealing with the guilt of having a one-night stand that a lot of people grapple with. Heck, even I do -- to some extent, anyway.

And then, for some, the not knowing if he is going to call you can be a little torturous, even if you both sort of knew it was truly just a one-time thing.

But mostly, I'm concerned with the quality of the sex.

I recently read that only 25 percent of women have an orgasm from actual sex, which might seem surprising to some, but certainly not to me. It can take a lot of time, effort, and attention to get a woman to orgasm during intercourse itself, let alone oral sex (and other types of sex) too. 

And dare I say that women do tend to appreciate some level of connection with a person beyond "God, he's so hot!" 

So after your one-night stand, you're left with lackluster sex and guilt, which makes me ask why it's worth even bothering, especially when most of us can get ourselves off in a matter of minutes with our hands or sex toys or a bit of both.

These days, it's much more valuable to me to get to know someone before I jump in the sack with him. The truth is, the sex is so much better because not only is there a bond of some kind beyond the physical, but you're probably better able to communicate what you like and what you don't. And if not, there's at least an investment from both of you to give it a try.

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I guess I'm not as enthused or flattered by some guy just wanting to have sex with me as I was 15 years ago.

So yes, while relegating sexual activity to the confines of some sort of relationship may not sound as thrilling or exciting as a one-off sexcapade, I really do believe that in the end, you'll enjoy yourself way more, or at least, feel way better about yourself the next morning.

Plus walks of shame? Highly overrated.

What do you think about one-night stands?


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