8 Tips for Talking Dirty Without Feeling Foolish

dirty talk"Talk dirty to me!" We've all seen people do it in the movies. But have you ever tried to do it in real life? Awkward! What do you say? How do you say it? And how do you avoid sounding completely ridiculous? What if you try it and he just cracks up and laughs at you? Is this even worth trying at all?

Relax, we've tapped some sexperts to give us their best advice on whispering sweet nothings. We'll have you talking dirty -- in the best way possible, of course -- in no time!


couple talking in bed

1. Don't be too serious. Sex educator and founder of Touch of Flavor Cassie Fuller suggests keeping it light and fun. "When you are just starting out, talking dirty is awkward. You are going to have goofy moments and giggles. Don't get hung up on what dirty talking is supposed to sound like." The important thing is to just enjoy each other. One caveat -- make sure if you're laughing, you're laughing with each other, not at each other. Never laugh mockingly at your lover's attempts at dirty talk!

2. Say what you're feeling. Okay, so what do you say, then? Sexy lifestyle expert Dana B. Myers says a good place to start is to "verbalize the gorgeous sensations you're experiencing at that very moment." That could be as simple as "I'm feeling so turned on right now!" According to Cosmo, men's favorite thing to hear is "I'm coming." But along the way you can give him updates on your stages of arousal.

3. Say what you want him to do. Myers gives an example of how you do this: "Take his hands and place them on your bum, squeezing them with the pressure that you want him to use, and simply say in a breathy whisper, 'I want you to grab my ass right now.'"

4. Say what you want him to keep doing. If he's already doing something that's rocking your world, by all means, encourage him. "Positive reinforcement will lead your lover to give you more of exactly what you're desiring," Myers says. Some phrases you could use: "That feels so good, right there, right there ... now, go deeper, amazing, don't stop!" Notice how she's added some ego and mojo-boosting compliments in there.

5. Describe what you're about to do. This is a great way to build anticipation. Myers says if you feel awkward about naming specific body parts, you can keep it suggestively vague with phrases like, "I can't wait to wrap my mouth around you."

6. Ask confident questions. "Dirty talk doesn't have to be a one-way conversation," Fuller says. She suggests asking questions like "Do you like the way I make you feel?" or "Do you want me to do that harder or faster?" Myers says you could ask, "Do you like it when I kiss your thighs like that?" or "I wore my special knickers just for you ... doesn't my bum look sexy?"

6. Talk about the parts of your partner's body you enjoy. Do you love his big, strong arms? His soft lips? Tell him. "This will not only make for some spicy dirty talk, it will also help him feel sexy and desired," says Fuller.

7. Check with your partner to find out if there are words or phases you should NOT say. A word of caution from Fuller: There may be some words that sound hot to you but make your lover feel threatened or uncomfortable. "Dirty talk is supposed to add to your sexual connection and the last thing you want is to cause your partner to feel insulted." Likewise, if your partner says something you're not into, gently say so. "Honey, I love where you're going with this but that word doesn't turn me on like (the other stuff he says) does."

8. Add in dramatic pauses, some sighs, and deep breaths. I love how Fuller puts this: "Remember the scene in Rocky Horror Picture Show where Tim Curry performing as Dr. Frank-N-Furter says 'I see you shiver with antici.......pation'?" Try the same thing -- not those exact words, of course. But tell him what you're about to do, "I'm ... going ... to ... " What? What are you going to do? OMG, the anticipation! Fuller suggests a little heavy breath in his ear or a little sigh after each pause. 

Have you ever tried talking dirty in bed? How did it go?


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