Married Couples Reveal How Many Times a Week They Have Sex

couple in bed

How often are you and your husband having sex? It's a personal question not many people have the courage to ask (or answer!), but it's something most of us wonder, especially when we get curious about how our own sex lives stack up against those of other married couples. Well, now we can stop wondering. Thanks to a highly amusing Reddit thread, we are privy to how much sex married people are really having -- and there are some surprises.

In fact, just how often spouses are sleeping together might throw you for a loop. Even people married decades and well into their 50s are apparently getting it on as many times as people half their age who have no kids. Impressive, right? For instance, one man who's been married for 15 years says he and his wife are engaging in intercourse five to seven times a week! Really?!

More from CafeMom: Married Couples Who Have Sex Less Than Once a Week Are in Trouble

 Assuming he is telling the truth, he says:

Sex and intimacy is (IMO) one of the most important things in a relationship besides an intellectual connection that there is. It's like the glue that can get you through some rough times by releasing. It tends to clear your head, if even only for a moment during your rough times.

Agreed! But yowza. That's a lot! And that wasn't all. Here's another in the HOW THE HELL DO THEY DO THAT category:

Together for 14 years, been married for 11 years, four kids. When things are not closed for maintenance, about five times a week.

Seriously, I have three kids (which seemed like a lot until I read that post), and we are lucky to even dream of having alone time that much. Maybe it's because we have a 6-month-old? I hope so! Jeesh. I feel badly.

Of course, some of the young puppies made me feel better about my marriage. One man who hasn't tied the knot yet said:

WOW. Not even married yet, together with my SO for four years, live together ... we haven't had sex in 7 months ...

Ouch. That's bad. The thing is, all that nonsense about married sex being less plentiful? It's a LIE. Most married couples have more sex than single people. Research shows that less than five percent of singles between the ages of 25 and 59 have sex two to three times a week, but about 25 percent of married couples are getting it on that often. Wow.

Still, many of us long-married couples do have some insecurity about the discrepancy between our early swinging-from-the-chandelier times and our more-than-a-decade-later-married-with-kids times. We shouldn't.

Healthy sex comes in ALL shapes and sizes. Some examples from Reddit: 

1.) I'm 55, married for 32 years. Twice a week, more or less.

2.) This makes so much sense to me. My husband and I have been married almost three years and have a baby. We have sex twice a week on average, sometimes more. It is really not a big deal to us though. The sex is AMAZING and just gets better, but we are so happy together it is just a very small part of our relationship. It is almost a bigger deal when we are fighting and we have it more often, almost as a way to increase intimacy until things are back to normal.

3.) Married almost 15 years. It's all over the place. Life is really crazy right now. We're both working, both in school, and have a 5-year-old son. Sometimes it's 3x a week, sometimes it's none. It used to be much more frequent, but until we're finished with our degrees (I'm almost done -- woo!), it'll probably stay pretty sporadic.

4.) Married 15. Five kids. Our quota is four times a week. Although "quota" sounds weird, we joke around about it and it's a way for us to remember that although we're busy with life, we still need to have some romantic time with each other to stay sane.

So there you go. Truthfully, people answering a Reddit post are going to be a self-selecting crowd, most of whom are probably either THRILLED with their sex lives or miserable about them. Still, there is something to be gleaned. While the answers are all over the place, one thing is clear: Sex matters.

Or, as one Redditor put it:

I'm 45, she's 46. Married 21 years, recently started a live-in separation. Haven't had sex in over five years.

In other words, sex is vital -- especially in a marriage.

"As human beings, we are programmed to seek sex," sexual medicine expert Dr. Geoff Hackett told the Daily Mail. "If you look at the behavior of young people, it is all built around the need for sexual attraction. This may wane as we get older, but we are all still looking for sex, and if it goes from our marriage or relationship we will seek it elsewhere, whatever our age."