'Professional Bridesmaid' Posts Hilarious Craigslist Ad & Answers Brides' Prayers

bridesmaid helping bride

Being a bridesmaid is no joke. You're required to be at the beck and call of the bride at all times of the day or night, help organize and plan all pre-wedding bashes, and make sure that the big day goes off without a hitch. It's no time for amateurs. Brides, you want your bridesmaids to be experts. And that's precisely why one seasoned "professional bridesmaid" is offering her services.

A 26-year-old woman with a great sense of humor, who has served as a bridesmaid four times in the past year, posted a very amusing Craigslist ad -- er, wedding party resume -- and we can't help but admire her skills. Especially since she has such relevant experience ...

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This year alone, i've been a bridesmaid 4 times. That's 4 different chiffon dresses, 4 different bachelorette parties filled with tequila shots and guys in thong underwear twerking way too close to my face, 4 different pre-wedding pep talks to the bride about how this is the happiest day of her life and marriage, probably, is just like riding a bike: a little shaky at first but then she'll get the hang of it.

That seems about right, doesn't it? She knows what to expect at the parties, and how to talk the bride down from her wedding jitters. All indispensable skills when it comes to a member of the bridal party. But it doesn't end there:

Bridesmaid skills i'm exceptionally good at:
- Holding up the 18 layers of your dress so that you can pee with ease on your wedding day
- Catching the bouquet and then following that moment up with my best Miss America-like "Omg, I can't believe this" speech.
- Doing the electric and the cha cha slide.
- Responding in a timely manner to pre-wedding email chains created by other bridesmaids and the Maid of Honor

Brilliant. Brides-to-be, could you ask for anything else? A woman who knows how to maneuver a frouffy wedding gown in a bathroom, can get excited about traditions, will keep the party alive, and will always take time to respond to your countless questions and Google Docs. You couldn't make up a more perfect bridesmaid.

Wonder how much she costs? We may need to book her for some upcoming weddings right now ...

What do you think is the most important quality in a bridesmaid?

 

Image ©iStock.com/SarahSellars

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