‘Chexting’ Is the New Way Your Man Can Cheat on You

picture of a man texting
So here's something "fun" for us to start worrying about. Ever heard of chexting? That's cheating + texting, and it looks kind of like ordinary friendship. But what's really going on is your significant other is obsessively texting another woman, getting deep into an emotional relationship with her that may never even cross over into sex. So ... does that really count as cheating? How can you tell the difference between an innocent friendship and something that could seriously threaten your relationship? What exactly is chexting, and how do you recognize it?


Texting a friend crosses over to the dark side when it takes on the thrill of secrecy and expectation. Marriage counselor Dr. Jane Greer explained some of the signs of chexting to CBS Miami.

1. Sharing intimate and emotionally deep feelings and details. "Truly the question becomes, are you texting somebody else things, content, material that you’re not sharing with your partner," Greer says.

2. Feeling a romantic or sexual thrill over getting texts from someone other than your significant other. "People start to rely on and depend on the connection they have with the other person and start to expect the texts."

3. Getting defensive about someone you text a lot. "What's the big deal? We're just friends!"

4. Texting first thing in the morning or just before bed. Greer says, "If your partner is texting the minute he wakes up or the minute she wakes up, before you go to bed, and you’re feeling really disconnected from them, then you might start to wonder what’s going on."

5. Secrecy around the laptop or phone, or logging in late at night. I mean, why else ... ?

More from The Stir: 10 Signs You're Having an Emotional Affair

Does this sound familiar? If so, you may want to confront your significant other before the situation escalates. Or maybe you're the one who's fallen into a chexting relationship? C'mon out of that state of denial, lady friend. There are plenty of reasons why this happens -- maybe it starts innocently with casual chatter, or maybe it's because you as a couple had already lost your connection with each other. Either way, you have some serious thinking and work to do.

We're in this new world of technology, which can complicate our relationships. Today's couples face challenges our parents never dreamed of. And yet, despite the rampant new tools of temptation, the same principles still apply: Stay loyal, stay connected, put each other first.

Have you ever engaged in chexting -- or do you suspect your spouse is chexting?


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