New Male Escort Service Provides Something Even BETTER Than Sex

how to get a boyfriend"How do I get a boyfriend?" This has been the rallying whine in my apartment now that I've decided to shed my single skin and procure me some long-term, commitment-loving arm candy. I've been going through all the regular channels. I've asked friends for introductions. I've signed up for the meat market that is online dating. I've begun lurking around bookstores creeping out patrons. "Nice spine," I said to the man cracking open a little Proust. But so far -- no luck.

Just because I don't have a boyfriend doesn't mean I should go without the comfort that coupledom allows. And neither should you! Sure, male escorts exist, they are a thing, but let's keep it real, ladies -- we can handle the whole sex part ourselves without paying a professional to take care of the situation, right? But that doesn't mean we don't want all the other stuff that comes with dating. 

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That's where Rent a Gent comes in. Join on the magical journey of hiring a dude of your choosing to hang out with you minus the sexual pressure. Whee! That's right, this is a male escort service with an emphasis on being genuine escorts rather than sexual partners. In fact, before joining up, the gents have to sign a contract that explicitly forbids them from doing the nasty with a client. 

I'm sure a lot of folks view this as being kind of controversial. Me, I have zero problem with it. Men have been objectifying women since time immemorial. So if I can hire an Occupy Wall Street Organizer and eat sushi off of his body to feel good about myself? I'm going to do it. 

The no-sex part of the equation is actually really smart. It's not that we as women aren't sexual beings (hello, meet allllll of my vibrators); it's that very often, the embarrassing stuff we pine for has nothing to do with our hoo-has. It's about having support, having someone to play with, having someone we don't have to worry and fret around. With a hired boyfriend, you skip past the butterflies.  

Harrison for hire

So say I were to hire Harrison, the aforementioned organizer. While he has graciously offered to allow sushi consumption to take place on his person, I'd much rather have him dust the surfaces I cannot reach in my apartment and maybe also change some light-bulbs that are up rather high because I have a thing about ladders. 

But I wouldn't just hire him for his handyman skills. I'd take that dude out to a bar and have him start a fight with me in public. What would he be so mad about? Me being too damn beautiful. We'd amicably resolve our dispute and then share an entire pizza while taking about the current political climate in Russia. What can I say? I'm a romantic. 

Would you ever Rent a Gent?

 

Images via Royal Stock/Corbis/Rent a Gent

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