The Only Rule You Need to Follow When You Get Engaged

1 rule engagedYou're engaged -- congratulations! And you can't wait to share your exciting news with everyone. But how? With a hilariously brilliant video, or a beautifully engraved announcement, or writing it in the sky with an airplane? There are so many creative possibilities! Or you could just post a photo of your engagement ring on Facebook -- because that's what everyone's dying to see. 

But before you make the big announcement, there's one thing you need to do. We talked with two wedding experts about the best way to announce your engagement, and they both gave the same advice for their number-one tip. This, ladies, is the most important thing you need to do when you announce your engagement.


Tell your inner circle first, over the phone.

"I feel it's important to call or visit the major players in your life and share that really exciting, happy news with them first," says Allison Moir-Smith of Emotionally Engaged bridal counseling. This means your parents, grandparents, siblings, other close relatives, and your closest friends. "Whoever is in your closest-knit group, you really want to avoid letting them hear about it in a mass way."

And no, email isn't personal enough. This is about sharing an emotional connection and letting people know how important they are to you. "You can't quite convey that excitement or share it quite the same way" unless you're in person or talking on the phone.

Then later, when you tell everyone, "think about the words you use," Moir-Smith says. "You only get to do this once." So rather than just blurting out "OMG we're getting married!" on Facebook, maybe write something like "We're so excited to share something special with you all ... "

Lizzie Post, co-author of the new 6th edition of Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette, agrees that letting in friends and family first on your upcoming nuptural before posting the big relationship status is the most important piece of etiquette. "What you don't want is for Grandma to log onto Facebook and find out you're getting married and haven't told her about it first."

When you share the moment with your closest family and friends, you might want to let them know whether or not to spread the word. Do you want them to keep it secret until you make your mass announcement? Or would you like them to go ahead and start telling cousins, aunts and uncles? Make your expectations clear.

There doesn't seem to be a clear rule about who you call first -- because that really depends on who you and your fiance are closest to. Once you've included your nearest and dearest in this important life event, then your announcement is limited only by your imagination. Your friends and family will enjoy your announcement all the more for having felt like they were participants.

How do you feel about announcing your engagement via social media?


Image via Zero Creatives/cultura/Corbis



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