My Gut-Wrenching Divorce Changed How I Think About Same-Sex Marriage

Let me start by saying that I have never been anti-gay. I don’t really care how other free people choose to live their lives. I have lots of friends that are gay, some of them very near and dear to my heart.

That being said, I have been opposed to same-sex marriage for a very long time. Not because I really care who has a wedding and declares themselves husband and wife or husband and husband or wife and wife, but because of the lines it may cross when it comes to religious liberty.


Homosexuality is a sin in many religions. Traditional Judaism, Christianity, and Islam all condemn same-sex partnerships. Heck, the Koran even says you’re supposed to stone homosexuals to death. That’s kind of the epitome of anti-gay.

That is not to say that we live in, or should live in, a religious state. No one should be forced to live by the values or morals of another person’s religion. Which is kind of my point. If gay marriage was legal, then it could become a civil liberties issue, and people might be forced to photograph or bake a cake for a ceremony that they’re religiously opposed to.

And that’s totally not cool. There are plenty of gay-friendly service providers -- don’t go make someone do something that goes against their religion and claim tolerance. That’s just stupid.

Anyway, now that I’ve been through a divorce, I’ve changed my mind on gay marriage.

The last few years of my marriage were an emotional hell that I don’t particularly care to dwell upon just now. But spending the last year navigating the legal system for the dissolution of my marriage has shown me that marriage recognized by the state is nothing more than a civil union.

Hmm … thinking about it, why would anyone want to get married, when divorce is such a legal nightmare? I suppose the same reason I’d like to get married again someday -- to share a life with someone that you’ve made a huge commitment to.

And really, why should I get to do it twice, when others may not be able to do it even once? That hardly seems fair.

Have you ever changed your mind about something you were once opposed to?

Image via Nate Chongsiriwatana/Flickr

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