I Was Wrong About Marriage & Learned the Hard Way

Holy crap, there are a lot of people on the Internet hating on me recently. In just the past couple of weeks, the comments on my blog have exploded, douche canoes on message boards have had multiple conversations about me, and someone even devoted a whole series of blog posts to talk about how evil I am because I filed for divorce.

I’ve been called a hypocrite, a traitor, a slut, a whore, the c-word. I’ve been accused of destroying my children’s lives, smashing my ex-husband’s balls, and basically ripping apart the fabric of society. Apparently I’m an adulterer caught in the snare of the devil, and even though I’m a hideous evil man-hating beast, I somehow manage to hop from bed to bed of any man that will have me. Seriously you guys -- they said I was ugly. What the heck do my looks have to do with anything?


Anyway, that is a lot of vitriol for little old me.

There seems to be some obsession with calling me out for divorcing the man I once said was the “love of my life” and “my best friend.”

Because I’ve been so vocal in my defense of marriage over the years, and adamant that divorce should never be an option if two people are willing to work it out, people seem to be pretty pissed that I left my husband.

Take a chill pill guys. So I was wrong about marriage being the most sacred thing on the planet, to be protected at all costs -- even the sanity of those in it. What's your point?

More from The Stir: How My Divorce Made Me a Better Mom

I used to be one of those people that thought the only “excuse” for divorce was cheating or beating. I thought I was superior to those other people, because I stayed in my very difficult marriage rather than calling it quits. If I could do it, why couldn’t everyone else? I mean, marriage is supposed to be hard, right?

Oh boy, did God ever take me off my high horse on that one.

I used to judge people that walked out on their marriages, and now I find myself on the opposite end of the pendulum swing. When I hear of one half of a couple throwing in the towel, my immediate reaction is, “What did the other person do to them that they felt like leaving was the only option?”

My opinion on marriage now is that the institution itself is not more important than the people in it.

What, you’ve never changed your mind about anything? What a sad, narrow little life you must lead. I pity you since I know from experience that comeuppance is a bitch.

But please, go ahead and continue to call me horrible names and condemn me from behind anonymous computer screens. All it does is make you look like idiots.

What's the biggest thing you've ever learned the hard way?


Image via Nick Nguyen/Flickr

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