Blame the masochist in me, but sometimes I fantasize about what I would do if my husband suddenly announced he wanted a divorce. The scenario usually plays out in my head in the following way: I walk into our apartment and catch him in the middle of having sex with some woman he'd been carrying on a hot affair with for months. I am shaken but composed. I say something super classy and snarky, throw them both out, and make myself a strong drink as I contemplate the next step.
Yeah right. In reality, I could see wanting to instead follow the footsteps of this Colorado husband, who had the couple's life savings of $500,000 turned into gold and then tossed into a dumpster so that his ex-wife couldn't get her hands on one red cent. In other words, I'd want to do something totally demented.
Earl Ray Jones, who is 52, is probably taking this divorce way more to heart than most people would. When he was ordered by a judge to pay his wife of 25 years $3,000 a month after their divorce was settled, he flipped out. He tried to withdraw all of the money out of the couple's retirement fund, but was told by the bank he could only convert it to gold and silver bars -- which is completely odd, but okay. According to a sworn statement made by this husband, he would have gladly played Robin Hood by giving out $100 bills to strangers on the street that day but instead chucked the gold into a dumpster so no one could have it.
Good one, Earl. Unless you have lots of secret cash stashed somewhere, you kind of screwed yourself, too.
I don't know about you, but I've done some pretty stupid things -- mainly to hurt myself -- after a bad breakup. When you combine jealousy, anger, and the awful realization that the life you thought you'd set up has gone down the toilet in a flash, it becomes very easy to make excuses for your bad choices. But for goodness' sake, go on a bender that gives you a two-day-long hangover. Kiss a questionable stranger who has a bad haircut and no job. Buy a pair of expensive shoes. Then move on with your life.
What's the craziest thing you ever did to get revenge or feel better after a bad breakup?
Image via John Louis/Flickr