Back in the day, if you liked a girl, you sent her flowers, maybe candy, or maybe you just called her and asked for a date. But in these days when everyone is an instant celebrity -- or at least thinks they are -- no seduction is complete without self-fawning selfie video. Because who can resist a guy who is so deliriously devoted to his own image? Well, one girl could. Because when she met Mr. "DrakeHands" at a local Starbucks and he pried her phone number out of her, he then sent her this stunningly vain "selfeo."
In the video, "StarbucksDrakeHands," as he calls himself, really does nothing but stare into the camera ... and stare ... and stare ... and then he smiles -- at himself, because it's really all about him -- and then he coyly covers his face -- but not too much! -- with his hands.
He set it all to Drake's "Hold On."
Apparently asking a girl out now is really all about a porno audition. Because I can't imagine what else this dude was thinking. It's also obvious he watched Zoolander like 5,000 times.
The girl reportedly shared the creeptastic video with her friends, and one of them inevitably posted it to Instagram. And, dude, how could you NOT know this would happen?
Dozens of parodies then sprung up, with people offering up their own hilarious versions of "DrakeHands."
Hey, at least this girl didn't go on a date with him. Can you imagine sitting there having dinner with this guy while he stares into the back of his spoon and hides behind his fingers?
Here's DrakeHands's original cringeworthy seduction video:
And some parodies:
Bwahaha! Almost enough to make you feel sorry for the dude. But not quite. But let's give him credit for an awesome Internet meme!
Would you have dated this guy?
Image via DJ Broc/Instagram