For most people, their spouse is the person they see the most on any given day. From the moment they wake up in the morning to the moment they go to sleep at night, it's their spouse who hears all of their thoughts and ideas, who listens to their observations on the day, and who does it all over again the next. But does that make their spouse their best friend?
The other night over dinner, this question came up with some girlfriends of mine. They are lucky enough to have the lifelong friends some of us can only dream about. Friends who have known them since they were 4, nursed them through high school breakups and junior high drama. Friends who know their family dynamics better than their cousins and stood beside them at their wedding, tearing up and smiling for the camera.
So who is our "best friend"? For me, it's my husband. Hands down. I have other people I adore and feel close to, but no one knows my innermost everything like my husband. Then again, I am lucky in that I have known him since I was 10 and he DID know my family ... So maybe it's different if you meet in your late 20s or 30s.
We asked around and polled 14 women to ask their opinions and got a varied amount of amazing responses. Here are some:
1.) "When asked who my BFF is, I never think to respond my husband, but if I think about what one means, then yes, he is. That said, he's NOT my favorite person to do everything with, and there are some things I'd rather do/issues I'd rather discuss with my BFF than him."
2.) "No one knows me like the friend I grew up with. She was my neighbor, she knew my parents when they were alive and she knew them well. I love my husband, but no one could ever know me like her."
3.) "I'm closer with him than anyone, feel most comfortable around him, have so much fun with him, and know I can count on him more than anyone else. However, that said, there are some things he just doesn't get that my girl 'best friend' does -- especially when it comes to being a mom and how much we put into it!"
4.) "My husband is my best friend. As for why -- he's funny, he's good company, he likes many of the same things I do, and he's been my partner through thick and thin for over 13 years."
5.) "Yes, he is. We went into this as best friends, and I wouldn't want it any other way. I have other best friends, but he's number one."
6.) "Without a doubt, my husband is my best friend. Still, I'm proud to have several other friends that are very close behind. But we don't have sex so ...?"
7.) "I have a best friend that isn't my husband. Obviously, my husband and I know each other like only we could know. We support one another emotionally, we have great conversations and so much fun together. We are raising kids and sharing a house together and I couldn't imagine doing it with another human being, but my best friend is someone who I have known forever, we have shared more with each other than any other. Both experiences and secrets. We have shared hilarious times, sad times, great times, and horrendous times together and I honestly would not be where I am today without her love, advice, and guidance."
8.) "My husband and I are probably totally co-dependent in that we do everything together (even grocery shop). He is my foil, the shoulder I can lean on when I am down, and the person who has my back all the time. Sometimes I feel bad for not having that one woman who is my soul sister BFF, but then I think about my marriage and how LUCKY we are. I am so thankful that I have this man I want to talk to all night and rip off his clothes at the same time. Even after a decade of marriage. So yeah, he's my best friend with a million benefits, to boot."
9.) "I don't think one should be TOO best friend-y with one's husband as then familiarity sets in. Wives should always have a trick up their sleeves to keep their men interested and on their toes. Mistresses always do."
10.) "We are best friends, worst enemies ... Depends on the day. We are both pretty fiery. I think when you know someone like we know each other you have great power over one another. This power is a responsibility and it is one test of true character."
11.) "Absolutely he is my best friend! My husband is my best friend and my favorite person in the world."
12.) "My husband is my best friend, but he's not my only. He's my best friend in that he's my soul mate and my number one confidant and supporter. But I also consider my sister and two closest, oldest girlfriends my 'best friend,' as well. I know it may seem like an oxymoron to have multiple best friends, but they each feel like it for different reasons."
13.) "My husband is one of them. But I couldn't live without my BFFs. There are about a million things men just don't get."
14.) "He definitely is my best friend. I have a best friend that is a girl as well, but still my husband is the one I want to talk to first if something happens (good or bad). There are a lot of people that Tom works with that can't stand their wives and work extra shifts to get away from them, and we always say we just don't get it. These guys would give my husband a hard time because he wouldn't want to go to the bar every night after work, but he would tell them that the most fun person he liked to hang out with us his wife. Love him for it."
What about you? Is your husband your "best friend"?