When I first had my daughter, I got a card from a guy I knew through work. In addition to "congratulations," it also said: "Now you have graduated to being a MILF." At the time, I was not sure what the term meant. I laughed, put it aside, and reminded myself to look it up.
A few minutes later, I was horrified. A man I knew had just told me that I was a "Mom I'd Like to F*ck." In the card in which he congratulated me on the birth of my daughter. For some women (maybe), this is a compliment, but I was annoyed. See, here's the thing, The term "MILF" implies that there is this whole world of women out there who you are no longer competing with. Now you are hot... for a mom.
Oy vey. Of course, MILF is not the only offensive way women are told they are "hot." Here are some others:
- Cougar: I believe officially a "cougar" is any woman who is 40+ and out looking for a younger man. It is supposed to be cute. It's not. It is demeaning. A woman over 40 has earned her stripes (cat joke? Get it?) There is no world in which a woman WANTS to be reminded of her age. Maybe a 44-year-old woman hitting on a 25-year-old man just wants the sex, too. Why does that need a name? It is condescending and rude.
- Puma: A puma is like a cougar only slightly younger. This is even MORE insulting. What is an older man who wants a younger woman? A "silver fox"? That names is kind of fun. It implies sexiness and mystery. Puma and cougar just imply desperate divorcees who are lonely for a tumble in the jungle.
- MILF: As discussed, this term is demeaning and people say it like they are being complimentary. I used to be attractive in general. Now I am just attractive "for a mom." Thanks.
- Yummy Mummy: This is a MILF, only younger. Some women like this term. I don't. For the same reasons. A woman is a woman is a woman regardless of whether she is married or has children. If you find her attractive, fine. But there is no need for a cutesy name to prove it.
- Chubby Chaser: A guy who is a "chubby chaser" likes bigger women. He also acts like he is doing them a BIG favor because of it. Bitch, please. I don't want a guy to like me for my body type. I want him to like me for ME. A chubby chaser is just another way to insult ALL women.
Do you like these terms?
Image via Neil McIntosh/Flickr