'50 Shades of Grey' Blamed for Rise in Handcuff Sex 'Emergencies'

handcuffs heartSince initially hitting e-readers and riling the masses up, Fifty Shades of Grey has been the target of loads of criticism. But only recently has it been suspected as the culprit behind various, uh, risque emergencies. More and more London residents have reported getting stuck in handcuffs and other everyday household items in the last three years, says a new report from the London Fire Brigade.

The Brigade's Third Officer Dave Brown said in a press release, "I don’t know whether it’s the Fifty Shades effect, but the number of incidents involving items like handcuffs seems to have gone up. I’m sure most people will be Fifty Shades of red by the time our crews arrive to free them." He's not kiddin'! Besides handcuffs, firefighters have also tended to one man who got his “manhood” stuck in a toaster and another who got his stuck in a vacuum cleaner. Bhahahaha! I mean ... ouch


It's not like the London Fire Brigade doesn't realize the reaction to this news includes a lot of smirks and uncontrollable fits of giggles, but they do want people to realize it's not all fun and games. They tweeted:

There's a serious side to this - when we're out cutting rings from penises & fingers we're unavaible for real emergencies

Agggh...! True, true. While I believe it bears noting that not all the incidents they mentioned seem to be related to what Christian Grey would call "kinky f***ery," this news does make a case for certain Fifty Shades fans backing aaaway from the BDSM! Just because a novice and her Dom BF were able to flog it up between the covers of E.L. James' book doesn't mean what they did -- or anything like what they did -- is something we should all be trying at home!

Clearly, something as seemingly innocent as handcuffs can get dangerous. Hence the need for people need to be, err, equipped, with the right info about how to opt for more than vanilla sex. Lest they end up having to make a 911 call for an emergency that's more excruciatingly embarrassing than anything else.

Would you blame Fifty Shades for the uptick in these emergencies?


Image via Jason Clapp/Flickr

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