Eating the Cream Out of Oreos & 9 Other Nearly Divorce-Worthy Food Habits

oreo jokeLadies and gentlemen, are your bizarre little food habits driving your spouse crazy? Redditor Showtunesaboutbacon was threatened with divorce the other day for eating all the cream from a bag of Oreos. Oh it was just a joke -- the divorce threat wasn't serious. But eating all the cream out of the cookies and putting them back into the bag? THAT is seriously gross. People do stuff like that, though. For all the different kinds of foods and different kinds of people in the world, there are so many different kinds of annoying food eccentricities that drive us all crazy. Here's a few of my favorites.

  1. Putting clementine wedges on the radiator. This was a favorite trick of food writer M.F.K Fisher. She would place clementine wedges on the radiator until they got hot and plump. Then she'd put them out on snow just before eating them. It sounds like the kind of thing that would drive a husband or cat crazy.
  2. Tasting the cookie batter. Everyone does it, I know. But maybe I don't want your filthy fingers in my batter.
  3. Doll-sized leftovers. This is probably my most annoying food habit. I'll leave tiny amounts of leftover food in the refrigerator. It's there because I might want a very small snack while making dinner tomorrow. And you will be in a great deal of trouble if you eat it before I get to it because I was REALLY looking forward to that tiny dab of baba ganoush.
  4. Eating off my plate. See also: Me stabbing you in the arm with my fork.
  5. Eating/drinking out of the carton. So drinking milk right out of the carton -- this is something 60 percent of parents do while their kids aren't looking, right? There's also eating ice cream directly out of the pint carton, which I do all the time because I buy flavors no one else wants. I am smart that way.
  6. Putting the soy sauce in the refrigerator. It doesn't need to be refrigerated! Ditto: Tomatoes, peaches, apples, onions, garlic, lemons, limes, I could go on...
  7. Eating just the muffin tops. No.
  8. Salting your food before tasting it. Oh no, I'm not insulted at all. Go ahead. It probably tastes like cardboard otherwise. Good thinking.
  9. Patting the oil off your slice of pizza. Sometimes pizza is especially greasy and you just want to get rid of those gross shimmering pools. But people who give their pizza the pat-down every damn time, what the hell are you doing? You do know that's PIZZA, don't you? It's not like your pat down is going to magically transform that slice into a pizza-flavored kale leaf.

What kind of weird food habits drive you (or your loved ones) crazy?


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