Sex Confession: Wife Is Fed Up With Husband Never Initiating

saying no"Sex Confessions" is a series featuring your naughtiest bedroom secrets and fantasies. Some will sound familiar, others may give you ideas, some will turn you on, and some are dark and twisted. You might want to sit down for this.

Lisa* is a stay-at-home mom of two kids. She's in her 30s, as is her husband Frank*, and they have what she calls a "terrible" sex life. It's terrible because her husband doesn't initiate sex as much as she would like him to. She says he never does. It's always her trying to get his attention and she's tired of it. She wants to feel wanted. And his lack of romance is making her upset. Lisa will explain ....


I know my body isn't as sexy as it once was before I had two kids. I know I'm not as perfectly manicured as when I was in my 20s. But I look good. I cook awesome meals. I think I give great blowjobs. Yet my husband doesn't ever seem to want to have sex with me. And it's starting to make me feel terrible. As terrible as our sex life has become.

Of course there was a time we had sex all the time. Way back when. Kids and work and house stuff and life got in the way and it became not as frequent. I get that. But I don't get why Frank doesn't ever try to have sex with me. I am the only one initiating and that bothers me. I want to be wanted! Just once I'd love him to grab me and kiss me and take me in the bathroom for a quickie. Or even roll over in the middle of the night and take me from behind. Anything! Please! I'm dying for a kiss, a grab, a feel, an anything from my husband to give me the signal that he's still into me.

When I initiate, we do have sex. But it's tiring and upsetting to be the only one trying here. I feel desperate and unattractive. I don't think it's too much to ask and when I have asked him why he doesn't initiate he claims he didn't realize he didn't. So I did a little experiment and I withheld initiating sex for days. Days became weeks. And I got more and more sad each day. Nothing. No passionate kiss. No butt grab. No naughty sex talk. When I do initiate and we do have sex, it's fine. It's good sex. But I'm tired of it. I want him to initiate!

What do you think Lisa should do to get her husband to initiate more? Have you experienced this problem as well?


Image via Marc Falardeau/Flickr

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