Dating Two Men at Once Feels So Right -- But Is It Wrong?

heartI don't want to be in a committed relationship right now. After getting out of a horrible one earlier this year, the last thing I'm looking to do is to settle back down. Of course, in the beautiful way that life always magically works out, now is the time when I've met a handsome, driven man who could be really, really great for me. The catch? Well, I've met two of them. Yes -- I'm dating two men. Separately, of course.

Nice dinners, movies, brunches, sports bars, clubs ... we've done 'em all. I know. It sounds bad. But listen, I'm single. Just because we've been on three or four dates, does that mean that I'm supposed to close off my other options? I know if the tables were turned and I found out one of them was seeing someone else, it would bother me for sure. But as someone who was so completely selfless for so long, I contemplate if I've earned the chance at being selfish -- if just for now.

But I confess: The things I'm learning from this multi-man situation are amazing me.


These two men, they're different in so many ways. There are things about both of them that I admire, qualities that I could do without, but I find myself so thankful every time I'm with either of them -- knowing that they genuinely enjoy my company like I enjoy theirs. That is why I've had a hard time choosing just one. Not only because I haven't been forced to, but because I enjoy seeing them both, separately.

So what have I learned? Well, since I'm not focused on one person, I'm not constantly wondering about what they're doing or where they are. Whereas I would usually be annoyed if a day or two goes by and we don't speak -- in my current situation, it doesn't faze me as much. I find that because I'm not giving either man too much attention, the interactions that we do have are more pleasant. I find that since I'm not obsessing over the scenarios, my mentality is better. Since I have no expectations, I'm not getting let down. My confidence is better when I'm out. I feel happier.

I'll be honest: It won't last for much longer. I firmly believe there's only so long you can go dating a person before you do have that "what are we doing here" kind of talk. As a girl who doesn't want a steady commitment right now, who knows, maybe I'll lose them both. But for now, for the time being, I can safely say that whether or not it's the right move -- dating two men simultaneously has been good for me.

Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? Do you think it's wrong?


Image via Neal./Flickr

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