6 Reasons 'Upgrading' Your Engagement Ring Is Bad for Your Marriage

engagement ringFor many people who marry young, the engagement ring of their dreams is far, far out of their reach. I know when my husband and I married, I had dreams of multiple carats, but my graduate student husband had more affordable plans. We got the ring he could afford at the time, which is a lovely three-stone ring, a carat in the middle and a quarter carat on each side. I love it.

But now that we have been married 10 years, I am aware of the fact that what he could afford NOW would be much more grand. And when I hang out with local women, sometimes I am aware that their diamonds are just a bit more BLING than my pretty, subtle ring. But you know what? I wouldn't change it for anything.

Of course, I may be alone in that thinking. A lot of women think it's perfectly normal to upgrade or otherwise enhance or change up their wedding set. I don't judge it. Exactly. But I do wonder why. Here are 6 reasons to keep the ring you got at your wedding:

  1. It will keep you young: There isn't a time I look down at my finger and DON'T feel the same giddy 24-year-old excitement I felt the day he put that ring on my finger. My hands might be older now, but that eternal youth remains.
  2. He picked it: To me, there is just something wildly romantic about a man picking a ring for me himself. Regardless of whether it would be the ring I would choose myself, it's the ring HE chose and is, therefore, very romantic.
  3. More important things to spend money on: I don't know about you, but I would feel a little silly spending $25K on a diamond ring right now. We may be able to swing it (maybe), but I would feel terribly guilty and like that money would do better in my kid's college funds.
  4. Family heirlooms: The ring I pass on to my daughter needs to be the one her father gave me. Sure, I could buy myself a fancier one, but it wouldn't have the same meaning and story attached as the one he handed to me on the day he proposed.
  5. I love it: OK, OK, I admit that I do love my ring. If it were teensy tiny, I may feel differently, or if it was too crazy big and embarrassed me, I might not wear it, but I do think it's a good size and I love looking at it.
  6. It brings it all back: Sometimes I take off my wedding band and just look at the ring I wore for a year before we married while we still had youth and excitement on our side. Not sure I would feel that way about a different ring.

Would you ever "upgrade" your ring?


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