Have you met the man of your dreams? If so, chances are pretty good that you have dreams about him. But what kind of dreams? And can dreams affect your relationship? Apparently the answer is YES. At least according to another one of those crazy studies. People who were in relationships were asked to keep a dream and relationship log, describing both. And wouldn't you know it? People who had good dreams about their significant other, dreams that included sex especially, woke up feeling all warm and spicy about their partner, and that translated into how the partner was treated in real life. But those who had bad dreams, especially dreams about infidelity? Hoo boy. You don't want to be living with that person!
Dreams about jealousy or arguing triggered next-day real jealousy and arguing, and dreams about infidelity put a real life damper on desire. Not only that, the study seemed to suggest that whatever a person dreamed could affect behavior in such a way that the dream eventually became a predictor for how the relationship would go. So like if you dreamed about an argument with your spouse, you'd have one. If you dreamed about infidelity, it could actually happen! Okay, that might be stretching it a bit. I find it hard to believe that a dream could push any couple into infidelity.
The study doesn't go into psychic dreams, but I do have a friend who dreamed her husband was texting another woman. When she woke up, the feelings from the dream were still so strong, she decided to check hubby's text messages. And, lo and behold, he WAS texting another woman! Eerie, right?
So what could make people blame their partner for something that merely happened in a dream? Says the lead researcher (who says he was inspired to do the study by an old girlfriend who would get angry at him for what he did in her dreams):
A lot of people don’t pay attention to their dreams and are unaware of the impact they have on their state of mind.
That's definitely true sometimes. Haven't you ever had those dreams that seem SO DAMN real? Like who wouldn't think twice about getting on a plane after having one of those excruciatingly realistic dreams about a plane crash? And if you dream your husband is stepping out on you, I think it's natural to wonder if he is. You might wonder if your subconscious is telling you something. Maybe you saw or heard something during the day that you didn't even want to acknowledge, but it all comes out during your dream twilight!
These days, I've learned how to dismiss dreams. If I have a dream about an ex, I wake up and shrug. It was just a dream, I don't need to call him. If I dream about my partner cheating, I wake up and dismiss that too. (Unless confronted with evidence in the waking world.)
But if I dream the lottery numbers, I'm totally playing them!
Do you ever have dreams that affect your relationship?
Image via KariHak/Flickr