I Went From Hating Valentine's Day to Loving What It Does for My Marriage

In defense of Valentine's Day for couplesI used to think that Valentine's Day was a dating person's holiday. The pricey flowers, the expensive dinners out -- not to mention the cost of a babysitter on a holiday. The practical side of me can't help but roll eyes at the over-commercialization that has become February 14.

Have you seen how much college is these days?

But lately, I've realized that Valentine's Day might be exactly what our marriage needs, even if it does cost us a pretty penny to celebrate.


If you're me, and most couples out there, finding time to spend together, let alone time that's just focused on you and not your kids or the laundry or CAN YOU PLEASE EMPTY THE DISHWASHER, is pretty rare.

Being married with kids is hard, and I'm the first to admit that I have the amazing ability to pile on all sorts of seemingly important tasks on my list while my husband drops lower and lower in priority.

And I'm the celebrator in the relationship, the one who buys little gifts and cards, who brings home special desserts or balloons for no reason. So you can imagine where I fall on my husband's list as the one who often needs a nudget to buy birthday gifts, not for lack of thought per se, but because he's busy too, with work, with grad school ... WE'RE ALL DAMN BUSY.

So when a holiday like Valentine's Day comes around, one that's printed on every calendar, that you can't escape unless you hide in a bunker for the entire month of February, it's like an automatic reminder. Like when your phone pings to remind you of your dentist appointment, which you wouldn't ever remember unless you phone pinged you.

Now I'm not saying marriage is like a dentist appointment, but it can feel that way when you've been at it for so long. And it doesn't make you a bad person or a lousy spouse if you need the friendly reminder.

If you're the kind of couple who have regular date nights and a wonderful, happy marriage all the time, then chances are you don't need to go crazy at Valentine's Day because you probably go crazy a lot.

But for us, the commercialization is like a shot in the backside. A moment, whether it's a hot date out, a sexy night in, or just a sweet, romantic card with overpriced flowers, to be thankful. To look at the person you've chosen to spend your life with and appreciate everything they do and have done.

Who cares if you need some ridiculous holiday to tell you? Better that than not at all.

What do you think of Valentine's Day?


Image via Clevercupcakes/Flickr

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