"Sex Confessions" is a series featuring your naughtiest bedroom secrets and fantasies. Some will sound familiar, others may give you ideas, some will turn you on, and some are dark and twisted. You might want to sit down for this.
Some people do really bad things and feel terrible about them. Others not so much. Like 40-something-year-old Kimberly* for example. She had sex with her husband's best friend Lou*. Actually, she has been for around six months and she continues to have sex with him all behind her husband's back. But both she and Lou feel as if this should be no big deal because the husband made it clear he has no interest in having sex with her. I'm handing it over to Kimberly to explain.
My husband Rick* is a great man. We have one adult child who is away at school. But Rick doesn't want to have sex with me anymore. Actually, he can't. He's been having erectile issues and he doesn't want to take anything for it, so he essentially gave up. He basically told me that I should do what I need to do and just promise not to leave him.
This didn't sit well with me. I tried to get him to at least be intimate with me and that I didn't care if he couldn't get it up to have sex. I told him there were other ways we could be sexual and it would still be loving and romantic. But the fact that he couldn't get an erection just made him sad and depressed. So that stopped. I didn't think it would be that big of a deal -- this no having sex. I've never been a really sexual person anyway and figured I'd just masturbate once in a while and that would be that. But then Lou happened. Lou is Rick's best friend. He knew about Rick's issue. And one day he talked to me about it. It ended up with us kissing passionately and having sex while Rick was at the store.
At first I felt terrible about it. But then I thought this was the perfect situation. Dysfunctional, of course. I didn't want to be with Lou like I'm with Rick. But I do need sex ... well, intimacy really. And Rick wasn't interested in giving that to me. But this whole situation is complicated. And I don't like lying to my husband. I just don't know what to do but am starting to feel guilty about it. I almost think Rick would be okay with it but if he knew at the beginning. It's been six months since Lou and I first hooked up and I'm thinking it may be time to tell him.
What do you think Kimberly should do? How should she tell her husband? Do you think she should stop having sex with Lou?
*Names have been changed.
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