5 Household Chores My Husband Is Not Allowed to Do

husband choresRemember that Shel Silverstein poem about the dishes? The one where the boy gets out of having to dry the dishes by dropping one on the floor? Well, I thought it was genius when I was a kid, but I would never have tried it. I am way too much of a perfectionist to mess up a job like that. Anything I was going to do, I was going to do well. 

My husband, on the hand, isn't quite like that. Generally we have an equal division of labor in our house. He works, I work. He puts the kids to bed and handles baths, and I do it on my nights. But there are some things I just won't let him do.

Not because he CAN'T do them. Mind you, my husband is a brilliant scientist with a graduate level education and a high level job. But he can't seem to figure out how to scrape pots. Or separate laundry. Or cook. So he doesn't. Here are five chores my husband is no longer allowed to do in our house. See below:

  • Make the bed: I am sorry, but how hard is it really to make a bed? If you ask my hubby -- he of wet towels on the bed, blanket-hogging, top sheet-eschewing ways -- it's pretty dang hard. Every time he makes the bed, it looks terrible. It's messy and wrinkled. The pillows are in the wrong places and the top sheet is still crumpled at the foot of the bed. I'll just do it, thanks.
  • Do the dishes: Seriously, this one is just confounding. My husband can't figure out how to wash a bowl. Or hand wash our expensive German knives (NOT the dishwasher). Forget the wooden spoons and wooden salad bowls and for some reason he STILL leaves anything hard "soaking" in the sink until I can get to it. Again, I'll just do it myself and let him mow the lawn instead of screaming at him for being inept.
  • Cook: Just no. The one time I gave dinner over to him this year, he bought bison steaks rather than ground bison for the chili. It tasted fine, but was kind of a visual fail. So I'll handle dinner while he handles bedtime.
  • Laundry: As long as there are places to put clothing, I don't mind doing the laundry. And doing it myself is 1,000 times better than dealing with his inability to separate or to remember that laundry is in the wash, building up mildew. He can take out the trash and mop the floor while I fold and put away the kids' clothing.
  • Set the table: Again with the half-ass! Agh! Just let me handle it. There are PLENTY of chores to go around.

Are there any chores your husband isn't allowed to do?


Image via maureen lunn/Flickr

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