What Does It Take to Maintain a Healthy Marriage?

tvAs I beg my husband to watch Downton Abbey with me Sunday night, I realize that more and more, we have very little in common. And with four kids, our busy work schedules, and his graduate program, we don't often have time alone together.

So when we do, I feel as though we need something that we both enjoy doing together, even if it is watching a television show every week. And I have to wonder -- can you actually have a healthy relationship if you don't do anything together but parent your kids?


When my husband and I were dating, we used to play music together, both in our home as well as out at bars. I loved performing with him, but after we had our oldest daughter, the late nights were a bit too much to handle, especially with a breastfeeding baby who hated sleep.

Even though he's kept it up on his own -- at least when it comes to playing guitar in our basement music room and performing at a few of our neighborhood events -- I've totally lost interest. I really don't have a desire to play anymore. Unfortunately, it was really the only thing we did together.

We do both enjoy running, although he runs short distances super fast while I tend to take on longer distances at a much slower pace, so you can imagine how going out for a run together goes. These days, he's planning ski trips or watching Border Wars, and I'm writing and obsessing over Downton Abbey. There's not really much we like to do together, aside from the basic eating and drinking that happens once the kids get to bed.

And quite honestly, we're both too tired and busy to take up any sort of new hobby together. But from what I hear, if we wait until the kids are older, it will be too late. So I'm hoping that you can help with my little dilemma and tell me what sort of hobbies or activities, other than sex (heh), you and your partner/spouse engage in and, more importantly, how you make the time for it.

As much as I enjoy a date night of dinner and drinks, I feel as though we need a little more to help make our relationship a bit closer.

What activities and hobbies you and your spouse engage in?


Photo via dennis/Flickr

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