As much as I want to believe that having kids shouldn't affect your sex life, I'd be a big fat liar if I said it didn't. And it's not just because I'm much busier now and pretty darn tired, though that certainly does help matters.
Some things -- well, a lot of things -- just aren't as fun as they used to be, and if I had my druthers, I'd probably never do these 7 sexy things ever again.
1. Sex in a moving car: Let's face it, I'm rarely alone in the car with my husband, and if I am, I'm enjoying the peace and quiet and not trying to hop on top of him or give him oral sex. And call me a fuddy duddy, but it's kind of dangerous.
2. Sex in a parked car: Seriously, was I ever that desperate that I had to squish myself into a car to get laid? Maybe it's because I'm pretty tall, but no thanks. I'll take my bed any day.
3. Upside-down sex: It seemed like crazy awesome fun back in the day, but now I just get really dizzy. And I feel like I'm going to get hit in the face with my post-four-kids boobs.
4. 69: Don't get me wrong, I like the idea of 69, but in actuality, you're always bent in a weird position and it's more uncomfortable than actually satisfying.
5. Sex with the bright lights on: I don't mind a little bit of light, but man, when the sun is shining and all the lights are on, I feel like I'm having sex on a stage and not in the privacy of my own home. Mood lighting, please!
6. Hand jobs: To be clear, I don't mind hand jobs that lead to something else, but the pure stand-alone hand job leaves much to be desired, at least for me, anyway.
7. Phone sex: Maybe it's because my husband and I rarely talk on the phone anymore, but I'd just as soon wait until he gets home to get it on than waste calling minutes.
What sexy things do you do less of now that you're a parent?
Image via MJTmail (Tiggy)/Flickr