8 Promises Every Man Should Make to His Wife in the New Year

toiletA new year beckons and, for many of us, that can mean a time of rebirth. A time to start anew. A time ... well, to make up for the ridiculously stupid things we did to our wives this year.

Yes, New Year's Day means New Year's Resolutions. While many take this opportunity to quit smoking or losing weight, many husbands can look to 2013 as a clean slate. A chance to wipe things out. Balance the checkbook, if you will.

Sure, we can all slip right back into the same slackers of years gone by and enjoy the comforts of a bumpy couch yet again. Or we can finally man up and make some New Year's Resolutions worth sticking to! With that in mind, I put together a list of 8 Promises to Make to Your Wife in 2013! These are my personal ones, but they most likely hold true for the majority of hubbies out there, so just adapt as needed.


To my beautiful, skinny, sexy, and intelligent wife:

1) Bottoms Up! - You probably never even noticed, but I promise to put the toilet seat down when I'm finished draining the pickle.

2) Under Where? - I promise not to leave my underwear laying on the floor every day. Just don't look under the bed, okay?

3) Let's Dish - Apparently the dishwasher doesn't fill itself. Futuristic society, my ass! Anyway, I promise to not leave my dishes on the table, but to put them in the dishwasher. (Most likely in the wrong spot so after two or three times you'll tell me to just forget it.)

4) Yo Momma - I promise to agree with you whenever you start talking trash about my mom. Or at least to keep my mouth shut. Or to only disagree slightly.

5) Blue Balls - Not only do I promise to perform lots more foreplay (which is the same as promising to perform foreplay), but I won't even let you reciprocate.

6) Food for Thought - I promise to make dinner for my beautiful wife at least once a month. Or at least once.

7) No Holes Barred - I'm sure it never bothered you, but all those holes in the wall? Yeah, I promise to spackle and paint them all this year. No, this time I'm serious.

8) Talk the Talk - For five minutes a day, I promise to ask you how your day was and really sit and listen. Don't be offended if I ask you while you're sleeping.

What promise would you like your husband to make for 2013?

Photo via Daniel Oines/Flickr

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