5 Things You Should Never Do at a Wedding (Justin Timberlake, Take Note)

When it comes to things not to do at a wedding, videotaping a bunch of homeless people sending you best wishes and expressing their regrets that they couldn't be at your bazillion-dollar nuptials in Italy probably ranks right up there with getting wasted and ralphing on the wedding table during your toast. Seriously, what was Justin Timberlake's friend thinking?! Well, for one, he was probably thinking that his little video would never go public. But somebody obviously found it offensive enough that they leaked it to the media. Because it WAS offensive. But anyway, bygones, JT.

However, here are five more things you should never do at a wedding.

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Confess you've always hated the person your friend is about to marry. If you've somehow managed to keep your mouth shut during your friend's dating, engagement, and wedding preparations, having a bit too much to drink and seeing your pal make what you think is a huge mistake doesn't give you the right to express it now. Besides, you've probably already made it clear her fiancé wasn't your fave and she's marrying him anyway. The only thing you can do at this point is wait until she starts complaining that the marriage is going downhill and then offer up your sympathy. (Without an "I told you so.")

Complain about your own marriage. Remember that scene in the movie version of Sex and the City when Miranda corners Mr. Big and expresses her disillusionment with the institution of marriage? Yeah, this leads to him panicking and standing up Carrie at the altar. No matter how much you can't stand your spouse, or how bitter your divorce was, keep your thoughts about the idiocy of tying the knot to yourself.

Anything having to do with exes. While JT's homeless wedding video was crass, can you imagine if his friend had made a star-studded exes tribute to Mr. Sexyback? It would have included Britney Spears, Cameron Diaz, Alyssa Milano, and Mila Kunis. Now that's something I'd love to see! But probably not Jessica. Keep all references to exes -- even if those exes are at the wedding -- out of toasts and tributes.

Telling secrets. Toasts are always nerve-wracking and not the least because everyone sits around wondering what line the usually somewhat drunk toaster is going to cross. Rent Rachel Getting Married if you want a crash course in what not to do when giving a toast. A toast is not the time to babble on about all the crazy things that happened at the bachelor or bachelorette party. Or even what went down in your college dorm room.

Sex. Or lack thereof. All jokes about the lack of sex the bride and groom will now experience due to tying the knot should be steered away from, no matter how funny you think it's going to be. You think they're not already terrified about that possibility? Hell, it's why they put off the wedding for 10 years. Some things just shouldn't be joked about.

What else should you never do at a wedding?

 

Image via epSos.de/Flickr

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