Dating Men of Another Race Doesn't Make Me a Freak

white woman and a black man holding handsEver since my college days, my girlfriends have referred to me, the white Italian Jewish girl from small town Connecticut, as "The Magnet." I'm not sure why it is that black men have a liking toward me, but I can't deny that they do. When I was a bit more heavyset, it kind of made more sense to me. The curves, maybe that's what they were into. These days, though, I'm 60 pounds less, and well, I'm still "magneting."

So what do I mean? Well ... wherever we are, whether it be a preppy bar in the Hamptons or a lounge right here in New York City -- if I'm approached, he's almost ALWAYS without fail of a darker skin tone. Always.

I'll be straight: My longest most serious relationship was with a charming white man. My relationship before that? With a black one. In my circle of friends -- none of them would describe black men as "their type," and I just ask this question: Why not?


For me, attraction isn't based on the color of someone's skin. A man's attractive to me if he's attractive, that's it. Done. Sure, there are other things that factor into it, like height, build, the way they carry themselves, their background, and what they do. But skin tone? Well, it never really fazed me.

I'm not saying I'm some sort of unbiased saint. NO where near it, believe me. I'm also not saying you're a worse off woman if you're not into men (or women) of all different ethnicities. What I AM saying, though, is sometimes if you look beyond what's on the outside, you'll be pleasantly surprised.

I notice it, though. Whenever I'm out with a black man, I get looks. I want to think that passersby think we're just a ridiculously attractive couple, but man, I'm not stupid. You're looking at me because what I'm doing may not be your norm. Yeah -- I wonder what ridiculous accusations are going on in their minds, but they don't faze me in the slightest. Why's that? Well, because I'm doing what I want to be doing, and generally in that moment, I'm happy

White, black, whatever the skin tone may be, if a man is treating you the right way -- that's the most important part.

Have you ever dated someone of a different ethnicity?

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