10 Simple Ways to Play It Cool Without Being an Ice Queen

No one wants to be "that girl." No, not the one who's all in your face all the time, but the one that can be best described as "frigid."

Yes, few of us want to be known as an ice queen, but we also don't feel like being that desperate, needy girl, either.

So how do you find a balance? How do you act cool and collected in a relationship without being an ice queen? Let's find out.


1) The most important rule of a relationship - especially a new one - is to chill out. Relax. Enjoy the moment. If you don't, you may come across as frigid to your new guy.

2) If you feel yourself tensing up, take a deep breath, go splash some water on your face, and return feeling calm, cool, and collected.

3) Laugh a little - even if it's at yourself. One of the sexiest things in a significant other is the ability to be self-deprecating. It may feel a little awkward if you're not used to it - especially around a new partner - but you can do it.

4) Act like, well, you! You don't have to put on a show or change yourself for a dude. Because even if you manage to pull it off for a while and appear as though you're all that, eventually, the real you will seep through. And she's something special!

5) Don't be a judgemental ass. Being hypercritical isn't a particularly sexy trait - most people who admit that they're judging someone else will turn around and judge you. So don't do it. Don't mock, be mean, or be cruel - it's not cool, it's nasty.

6) Be positive - without being cocky - about who you are. You don't have to sit around bragging, but you don't want to bash yourself to your new flame either. Not attractive. We all screw up and have things we want to change about ourselves - it's human. But show your upbeat, optimistic side.

7) Be kind. There's very little that's less sexy than a chick who comes across as a heartless bitch. You're a kind soul - let the world (and the guy you're digging) see that.

8) Don't lay it all out there right away. If you want marriage and kids, that's fine, but it's not first-date material. That can come across as needy and dependent when you barely even know the guy.

9) Flirt, but do it subtly. Desperation smells like a rotten apple - don't come across as desperate. It's a total turn-off.

10) Be proud of yourself. Being confident is a total turn-on. You know what you want and you're not afraid to go for it - don't overplay it, but walk tall and proud!

What are some other ways you can be cool and collected without being an ice queen?

Image via BarbaraWilliams2010/Flickr

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