How to Break Up Without Faking Your Own Death

Breaking up is HARD to do. There's no doubt about it. It sucks to be the one who gets dumped and it sucks to be the one who does the dumping. No fun for anyone.

But breakups are also a fact of life. The more you learn about yourself, the more you'll be able to see when things aren't going to work out and take the necessary steps to go your separate ways. It isn't pretty, but it doesn't have to feel like your whole world is falling apart. You don't need to do something drastic to end a relationship that isn't right. 

Here are some tips for breaking up with your partner without causing a massive blow-up. Hopefully.


1) Before you have the talk with your partner, be prepared with answers to the questions you'll be asked. 

2) Walk into the situation with a clear head. Don't break up with your partner by screaming and yelling and pointing fingers - it's not becoming of anyone, and it makes you look weak (and you're SO not weak).

3) Don't go for the tacky route and have your friend tell your soon-to-be-ex at the bar while you hide in the bathroom.

4) In fact, don't do the public breakup at all. That's not fair to either of you and it shows a lack of regard for your partner and your relationship.

5) Make sure to be respectful of your partner and the time you spent together. You don't want to leave this on a sour note if you can help it. It's not worth it.

6) If you're done with your partner and there's no hope of reconciling, don't pretend there is. There's no reason to be cruel - if it's over, it's over. Done. No room for change.

7) Don't tell your partner that you're dumping him because you're moving away. Unless, of course, you are.

8) Avoid using "I always" or "you never" statements when breaking up. Those sorts of declarations come out as attacks - whether or not you mean them to - and won't help the situation.

9) Leave the possibility of friendship up in the air. You don't have to make any solid promises one way or another - being friends with an ex is challenging, and not a decision that needs to be made right.this.second.

10) Be very clear as to why the relationship isn't working rather than getting sucked into a conversation about how to change things, which won't help once your mind is made up to break up.

Have you ever said or done something dramatic to end a relationship?

Image via jinterwas/Flickr

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