My Worst Household Habits (Fine, I'll Confess!)

A few weeks ago I wrote a post about my husband's most annoying household fails -- the cereal bowl perched near (but not IN) the dishwasher/sink, the dirty clothes on the floor next to the hamper, the toilet paper roll balanced carefully on top of the holder, etc. (I realize now I forgot to document my favorite husband move of all time: the TISSUE BOX placed on the FLOOR under the EMPTY TOILET PAPER TUBE because hey who doesn't love wiping their ass with KLEENEX.)

I felt a little guilty after I shared those images, because, well, I have to be fair -- I have some terrible household habits too. Maybe you'll identify with some of these, maybe you won't, but at least I'll have balanced out my karmic debt for so joyfully throwing my husband under the bus.

Behold, a few of the chronically irritating things I do around the house, which my long-suffering husband has been putting up with for over 10 years now:


Personally, I'm not happy with a junk drawer until it's a complete and utter shitshow. This one's actually in pretty good shape, considering we just moved a couple weeks ago. Give me another month and this will be roiling with all sorts of useless crap, startled moths, and Band-Aid wrappings.

My husband LOVES it when I leave on every light in the house, especially in broad daylight. Really, he does.

See that healthful collection of fruit? I can almost guarantee you I will forget about at least one of those things -- probably the pear -- until it's completely decomposed, right there on the shelf that I look at every single day of my goddamned life. If I had a superpower, it would be Leaving Perfectly Good Food to Rot and Transform Into a Fruit-Fly-Ridden Pile of Mushy Horror.

I can't defend myself. I know it's annoying, and stupid, and I should probably be dragged out back and horsewhipped for it. But I cannot screw a jar back on to save my life.

There are maybe one or two things here that belong to my husband. Isn't it a joy he gets to share a bathroom with me? I'm obviously such a considerate and tidy roommate.

This is probably even worse than the jar thing, right? I ... I don't know why I do this. It even makes ME crazy. And YET.

I saved the worst for last. You know how when you blow your nose, you throw the used tissue in the trash like a civilized human being, because the alternative would be unspeakably disgusting and rude? Well sometimes ... I ... sort of ... just ... carelessly toss it on the counter and forget about it. I know. I KNOW.

There! I feel a little better for making fun of my husband a while ago, because clearly I have some habits that are far worse than his. Whew. Feels like time to make a PB&J now, and maybe flip on some lights.

Do you have any habits that drive your husband crazy?

Images via Linda Sharps

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