The 'Perfect' Age to Lose One's Virginity Is Different for Everyone

pretty flowerAs a mom, I look at my two children and I can't even imagine a time when sex will cross their minds. But I also know we live in a society where it's very normal and average for both boys and girls to start having sex around age 16 or 17. For some that is plenty old.

Personally, I think it's very young. Blogger Joanna Goddard brought this up on her blog Cup of Jo this week and admitted she was 20. The comments were surprising. Many others waited until college or even marriage before first having sex. After all those people's courage, I was bolstered in my own. I was also 20.

Honestly, at the time I was embarrassed. Everyone else was sexually active. I felt like the 40-year-old virgin. Now? I think it was the perfect age.


I was old enough to know what I was doing and I made an active decision. I turned down my high school boyfriend and some other guys I dated in high school and college because "I wasn't ready." So when I was ready? It was explosive. 

Now, 15 years later, I love sex and have only had positive experiences with it. My friends who started younger can't always say that is true. Of course, the key is really being ready. Some may really have been ready at 16 or 17. At least one friend I have first had sex at 14, and I know she would describe it as an overall positive experience and she is fine with the age she was.

To each their own, I guess. I hope that my children, when the time comes, both really want it. I hope it's an empowered choice they make for themselves no matter what age they are. If it is, I am sure it will be positive.

What makes me sad are the girls (and boys) who are pressured by their boyfriends or their peers into doing something they aren't ready for. If you can't deal with birth control, then you definitely aren't ready for sex. Period.

But there is no one perfect age. It's whenever a person is mature enough to want it and deal with all the consequences. 

How old were you when you lost it?


Image via mikebaird/Flickr

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