Woman Whose Boyfriend May Have Kept Her Locked in Bedroom Says He's a 'Good Man' (VIDEO)

Ladies, how do you know when you've got a good man? When you've got a keeper? Maybe he always remembers your anniversary. Maybe he picks out jewelry that reflects your taste, not his (could happen). Maybe he's a great, loving, responsible father. But maybe he's none of those things. Maybe his claim to goodness is something a bit more, well, sad.


Last week, I was horrifed to hear about the woman who may have been locked inside a room by her boyfriend for up to 10 years. Although police think that gang member Michael Mendez wouldn't win any BF of the Year awards, his girlfriend, Nancy Rodriguez Duran, disagrees. She says:

Michael was a loving, good man. He treats me well. He would never hit me. We would argue, yes, but he would never hit me. I want all this to stop.

She adds that while she did happen to be in a padlocked room (we all have a padlocked room, right? Right?), it was only for one day (one day, people!), and it was so maintenance workers wouldn't see her in a nightgown. (Because putting on clothes was out of the question?) But Nancy's bf would "never hit" her. So there's that.

Sigh. Whether or not Nancy really was being held against her will, it certainly sounds like her standards in men are, shall we say, a tad looooow. And this isn't just about the Nancy's of the world.

There are women who stick around because a guy occasionally sends them a sweet text message. Women who stick around because "it could always be worse." And, yes, women who stick around because "at least he's not hitting me."

I don't think women start out in a new relationship like this. But they can get into one that slowly, bit by bit, destroys their self-esteem, and their expectations of what a real relationship is, and what a "good man" is. And, eventually, all you've got is, "He doesn't hit me." And, one day, maybe you don't even have that.

If you find yourself saying things like, "At least he doesn't hit me," or "At least he doesn't cheat," or "At least he's not in prison," ask yourself if your standards couldn't be raised ... just a bit.

Have you ever found your expectations being too low in a relationship?

Image via New Jersey State Police

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