Fighting May Be the Secret to a Happy Marriage

angry coupleIf you're a sweet, forgiving, positive-thinking kinda lady, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG. A new study out of Florida State University found that marriages are happier and last longer when the couple fights. If you express anger and get in disagreements with your spouse, it's better than coming to the conclusion alone that you'll forgive and forget.

This whole time we thought that we were so enlightened, so zen for not speaking up about what's bothering us, but the truth is, we've been doing ourselves and our relationships a giant disservice. IT'S TIME TO YELL AND LET IT OUT ALREADY, GODDAMNIT!


According to researcher James McNulty, it's normal and healthy to have temporary disagreements. And if that means getting loud, maybe slamming a door or two, so be it. It's better in the long run to say how you're feeling because if you don't, it's possible your partner will remain unaware that he's pissing you off, because you've internalized the problem and forgiven him without letting him know you're angry in the first place, and he'll continue making the mistake.

This goes for the big and the little things alike -- if you're pissed he keeps loading the dishwasher with food on the plates so that when you go to unload it, you have the added task of scraping bits of egg of the dishes, say something. Don't just think positively and remind yourself how happy you are; feel the anger, beeeee the anger, express it, then get over it.

McNulty says, "People may experience long-term benefits by temporarily withholding forgiveness and expressing anger," SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? GET MAD.

Do you prefer to fight it out, or keep small problems to yourself?


Photo via hang in there/Flickr

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