Kristen Stewart's Cheating 'Emails' Make It All Clear

Kristen Stewart

There's been so much speculation about the Kristen Stewart cheating scandal, and so many different and wild stories going around every day, that it's good to know we finally have a glimpse of the REAL story. For instance, did you know that Kristen sent Rob flowers after the scandal broke? And did you know that Charlize Theron lost her cool with Kristen for ruining their chances at a Snow White sequel? And that Justin Bieber tried to comfort KStew with the news that Rob cheated first -- with Katy Perry? Oh, to be Kristen Stewart's drama-filled Gmail inbox after Cheatgate!

Well, okay, maybe, just maybe the hacked contents of the inbox are fake. (For those of you who haven't had your coffee yet, this means they ARE fake.) But they're pretty funny nonetheless. And, heck, who knows, maybe a few of these fake emails are close to what is really in KStew's inbox. Here are some highlights:

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From: Tom Cruise

Thank you for taking the limelight off me. BTW, we have a church meeting coming up. You should ...

From: Taylor Lautner

This ISN'T the movie! You have a chance to choose the right guy in real life. Just sayin'.

From: Charlize Theron

Sorry I snapped. Put in a good word with Rup during my salary negotiations and I'll change my media story ...

From: Nikki Reed

KARMA IS A BITCH!!! What goes around comes around ...

From: Taylor Swift

(unopened) Can I use this inspiration in a song? Such a story. Cast from 2 movies. Upcoming premiere. Costars ...

From: Robert Pattinson

(pre-cheating) Let's start with forever. With the bloody movie promo over we can start every single day of forever ...

No word yet on who came up with this gem. Maybe it was Team Rob? Anyway, it's pretty amusing (albeit in that sad, sad break-up kinda way). A few glaring omissions though: Nothing from Rupert Sanders, nothing from Liberty Ross, and although Bear the Dog has his own Gmail account, nothing from him either. Would love to know who Bear really wants to live with! And, seriously, nothing from RPattz? Not even a rambling, drunken 3 a.m. "How could you do this??!!" type missive?

And, damn, girl, empty your spam folder!

What do you think of "Kristen's Gmail inbox"? What would you liked to have seen?

 

Image via Getty

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