Katie Holmes Is Back on My 'Celebrity Sex List' Thanks to Tom Cruise

Tom Cruise Katie HolmesEveryone's talking about how brave Katie Holmes is for finally leaving Tom Cruise. She's the mommy of the year. She's beautiful. She's adorable. She's Hollywood's newest heroine. But most important of all... she's now available.

So if the now-available (and once-again-sane) Katie ever meets up with me, I have the full green light to have sex with her. Well, I have approval from my wife, at least. Katie would kind of have to agree to it too, I suppose.


See I used to have the biggest crush on Katie Holmes. I'm talking back in her Joey Potter days on Dawson's Creek. She was just too darn cute with that wry little smile of hers. And when the movie The Gift came out with her nude scene in it, well, let's just say that was the most aptly titled film ever. She suddenly shot straight to the top of my list.

What's this list I keep talking about? Well, before we got married, my wife and I used to talk about which celebrities we'd want to sleep with. We agreed on a rule that we'd each keep a list with three celebrities on it, and we had complete freedom to kiss, hug, play tonsil hockey, and even slam hams together should we ever meet any of them in person.

For the longest time, Katie was No. 1 on mine. (Heather Locklear and Rebecca Romijn were the other two for those of you keeping score at home.) But once Katie married Tom, she just completely lost her mind. And was completely booted from my "celebrities I'd like to have sex with" wish list.

It wasn't because she was married; it was because she really seemed to go insane. She wasn't the same sweet, girl-next-door America fell in love with. She was now a meek, submissive, mindless slave.

But all that's meaningless now. She's left Tom. She's fired up. She's once again sassy, intelligent, and sexy. Heck, until Megan Fox pops out her kid, Katie Holmes is currently the most sought-after MILF on the planet.

Now, what are the chances she'd like to come over to my place for dinner sometime?

Who's on your Celebrity Sex List?

Image via Splash News

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