I've Had Sex With Obama, Clinton, Brad Pitt, & Jon Hamm While I Was Sleeping

sleepingThe other night, I had sex with Bill Clinton. Yes, the former POTUS. No, Hillary has nothing to worry about. You see, it was allllll just a dreeeeam. And that wasn't the first time I've gotten it on with a president. There was also Obama. In fact, Barack (we're on a first name basis) and I have knocked boots more than once. And while I'm certainly thankful that neither of the Bushes have entered my dreamscape boudoir, I'm not a political person. During the day, I don't even think about Clinton or Obama. Nor do I think about the dozens of other famous, powerful, or rich men I've had imaginary sex with.


Let's see ... who else? There's Jon Hamm. He and I have gone at it a few times. While he seems like an obvious choice for a dreamy paramour, the fact is (and I hate to admit this) I've never once seen an episode of Mad Men. Jon is certainly attractive, but he doesn't ever enter my mind in my waking hours.

There was Brad Pitt. In that one, I was kind of fighting him off -- I was all like, "Braaaad, Angelina wouldn't like this ... " Sorry, I do NOT sleep with men who have girlfriends and kids. And yet I did. In my dream.

There was rocker John Mellencamp. This one makes a little more sense, as when I was a kid I had a huge crush on him. (Go ahead, make fun of me.) But I honestly haven't thought about him in eons. Other than that time we had sex. In my dream.

In fact, if I have sex in a dream it's invariably with a celebrity of some type. Coworkers? Nope. Unidentified hazy men with no faces? Puhleeze. Boyfriends? Not usually. In my dreams, I'm a superstar and only get it on with superstars. Egocentrism? Wish fullfilment? I decided to find out.

One friend turned me on (not in that way!) to a site called Interpret Dreams Free. I looked up this type of dream and here's what it had to say:

To dream that you are having sex with a celebrity indicates your wish to be more popular or accepted by those around you.

Ohhh, so I'm an insecure little wretch who longs to be more popular. Yech. Not liking that explanation, I turned to a couple of friends who have both studied dream interpretations.

Opined one friend, "Carl Jung would say that extreme emotion in a dream (like being egocentric) likely compensates for the opposite feeling in waking life." Ugh, again with the insecurity! But she added: "Others might say that aligning yourself with celebrities in dreams is a kind of will to power."

She then asked me if, unconsciously, I want to be a celebrity. This sounded more plausible. I don't write for a living to remain anonymous!

My other friend explained that I was trying to "merge" ('an how!) with powerful men as a way of coming (no pun intended) into my own power. She then warned me not to talk about it, otherwise it would never happen. (Too late!)

Either way, I guess it's kind of fun to have sex with men that, in real life, I would never have sex with -- or even want to. Except for maybe one of them. You know where to find me, Jon.

Have you ever had sex with a celebrity or powerful person -- in your dreams?


Image via WarmSleepy/Flickr

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