8 Annoying Things That Will Stop You From Having Sex Tonight

no sexRemember when you were young and in lust? You know, the good old days where you'd sneak around behind your parents' backs to go meet up with your hot date and set off some real fireworks? Part of you was even thinking that you couldn't wait to get married one day so you wouldn't have to sneak anymore and could just get busy whenever you want.

Guess what? Nothing changes. When you're married, there are still a zillion things that can keep you from bumping uglies, even in your own house! We don't have room to list all zillion (too much bandwidth) but here's a look at the 8 biggest obstacles to parents having sex:


You're exhausted - There was a time when nothing would stop you from having sex, no matter how sleep-deprived you were. The early years of raising kids can certainly put an end to that.

Going solo - Nothing like meeting up with your honey ready to rock his world, only to find out that he already rocked it himself 10 minutes ago and is now done for the night.

Your Mom - Pictures can certainly make a house homey. But keeping a photo of dear old Mom (or even Dad) in the bedroom is a major buzzkill.

Your kids - Yes, they're sweet, adorable, and the loves of your life. But why on Earth can't they fall asleep when they're supposed to so they don't end up walking in on Mommy and Daddy while they're nude wrestling? By the time they've finally passed out, so has my wife.

Dead dogs - No, I'm not talking about your pet or some awful roadkill. I'm talking about movies, particularly dramas. The kind where you fall in love with this adorable puppy and something horrible happens to it in the movie but the kid who owned the dog learns a valuable lesson just before the dog dies. Yeah, that kind of movie. No way you're getting any action after watching a film like that.

Your kids again - This time it's your wife thinking about the kids that slams the brakes on your rocket-fueled love session. Maybe it's Billy's science test tomorrow. Or Cindy's swim meet. Or Ava's broken arm. See, even when they're not in the room, they're ruining your sex life.

Legos - You try to get in the mood again after stepping barefoot on those sharp little bastards.

Super-sized food - They tell you to wait 20 minutes after eating before you dive into the pool. Same goes for sex. Double the time if you had Mexican for dinner.

What keeps you from getting some?

Image via djwings sia/Flickr

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