How Long Should You Wait to Have Sex With a New Guy?

bedWhen should I sleep with him? That's a question every women asks herself when she's thinking about breaking the sex seal with her new man.

Sometimes it's about love. Other times it's booze-inspired lust. Or as one friend, who always changes the sheets afterwards, puts it: "Is this guy worth an unscheduled laundry day?"

It may not be romantic but you have to admit, it's damn practical. She's a busy girl.

Lately, I've realized that my friends all have different takes on the issue.


I was hanging with a pal who has been dating her boyfriend for almost four months. Call me Snooki, but I was totally surprised when she said they hadn't gotten it on yet. She has a rule: no sex until the six-month mark. The reason? Now that she's 30-something, she's not in the dating game for kicks anymore. If she's seeing a man, it's because he has spouse potential. She doesn't want to muddle up the getting-to-know-the-real-you process with sex.

The other must? When they do actually do the deed, it has to be a planned event. No hot and heavy, spur of the moment thing. She wants a memory that they both can cherish as opposed to a rushed sex-spree. While I thought that part was a little idealistic, it's a philosophy I can respect.

Another friend has it boiled down to a much simpler equation: "It depends on the guys," she says. "Nice guy but not attractive -- three dates. Hot guy -- 12 hours." As far as she's concerned, finding out if you have sexual chemistry is key to considering if someone has long-term potential.

A divorced girlfriend has yet another stance on the subject. If she really likes a guy and thinks he would make a good boyfriend, she would sleep with him early on. Why wait if those heart-skipping-a-beat vibes are already there? If she is unsure about him, then she would take it date by date. There is one exception though: If some hot-beyond-her-wildest-dreams stud wants a one-night stand, she's totally game.

Bottom line is dating is complicated and sex makes it more so. So when it comes to giving up the goods, you have to do what works best for you -- and your laundry schedule.

Do you have a rule about when to have sex with a new boyfriend?


Image via visit~fingerlakes/Flickr

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