Your Man May Have Had a Vasectomy Behind Your Back

scissorsMen don't like people messing with their penis. I don't mean in a sexual way -- that always gets a thumbs up.

I am talking about cutting, nipping, and slicing. Just the thought of it makes guys cross their legs and wince in imagined pain. So it's no wonder soooooo many of them refuse to even discuss the thought of a vasectomy.

Of course there are those brave boyfriends and husbands -- usually already overrun with kids -- who opt for it. But what you may not realize is that are also guys who get the snip, snip on the down-low. Yes ladies, I am talking about the Secret Vasectomy.


Sounds like unicorns and leprechauns, right. It's not a myth. It happens. It's real. And I've seen it. Well ... not the actual procedure itself, but I know a guy who got one behind his wife's back.

Out for drinks -- a lot of drinks-- with a few colleagues, one guy shared that he had to come up with a good excuse for not sleeping with his wife. Needless to say, my ears perked up immediately. I thought, what a weird thing for a married man to say, especially since they usually complain about too little sex. The reason? He had a vasectomy, even though she didn't want him to. He was hiding it from her and the doc said he shouldn't have sex for a couple weeks.

The sex-dodging excuse he opted for: "I pulled a groin muscle." Apparently his wife wanted more kids. He was fine with the three they already had. As far as I know, his wife never figured it out. And she's not the only woman in the dark about this -- wait for it -- dick move!

There are tons of message boards about secret vasectomies, with guys lamenting about fears that the tiny scar will give them away or about the first post-op nookie. I've even come across questions about it in Dear Abby-type advice columns: "I think my husband had a vasectomy without telling me. What should I do?"

Now, I believe it is a man's right to do whatever he wants to his own body. I just can't ignore the feeling that this is a serious betrayal if you are in a committed relationship? How is this so different than a woman who purposely skips the pill or pokes holes in the condom? That said, I wish more guys were up for vasectomies. It would certainly save women the hassle of picking up birth control prescriptions or keeping IUDs in place or diaphragms on hand. But it should be a decision a couple makes together.

Do you think a man has a right to have a vasectomy without telling his significant other?


Image via Jo Bourne/Flickr

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