Oldest Drawing of a Vagina Means Cavemen Liked Porn Too

pizzaNews flash: people have liked porn since the beginning of time. And by "beginning of time" I mean at least 40,000 years ago, and by "porn" I mean a circle drawn with a line sticking out of it. Scientists in France contend that they've found the world's oldest cave drawing to date, and that it's of female genitalia.

It may not look that hot to you or me, and it sorta looks like a pizza, but rest assured, it's a pretty steamy image. Nothing like a vague orb with a nearly indiscernible dash going through it to really get the blood pumping.


I don't see a vagina when I look at this drawing. At best I see a sperm fertilizing an egg, at worst I see a pizza with pizza cutter. Mmm. But since neither of those technologies were around 40,000 years ago, I suppose the artist couldn't have been inspired by the opening sequence of Look Who's Talking or conversely, a Chuck E. Cheese commercial.

So you have to wonder -- since this pictorial doesn't resemble a vagina in the least to the layman's eye ... is there something about caves that makes people ridiculously horny? I bet the people living there tens of thousands of years ago thougt about sex non-stop since a) they had the pressure of, you know, populating the human race; and b) there wasn't really anything else to think about except killing reindeer and avoiding death before the ripe old age of, like, 16.

And the modern people exploring the caves -- they've gotta be on the same wave length as the original and ancient artists, right? So are they thinking about sex all the time, too? Can they not look at a beach ball without thinking "bouncy bouncy vagina"? Can they not help their children with geometry homework lest they be too aroused by all the circles and all the lines? And those triangles! Oh my, the triangles. Don't get them started.

The take away here is that old cave drawings are awesome, old pornographic cave drawings are even awesomer, and people who live in or explore caves are great in bed. They may try to hump a sundial at first, but once they find that vagina, it's on.

What do you think the drawing looks like?


Photo via ari helminen/Flickr

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