9 Ways to Get Your Sexy Back After Kids (VIDEO)

Kids are sweet, adorable, and fun, but they also have a well-deserved reputation for sending your sex life into a death spiral once they show up. There's the lack of sleep, the fear of getting interrupted just as things are getting good, the fact you probably don't feel as great about your body as you did before kids, and on and on.

And let's face it, after you've been with your partner for a while, sex becomes less spicy than it did when you were first together.

All that adds up to a pretty lackluster sex life for the average mama. But you can and should find ways to get your groove back, and this edition of The Kristen Chase Show has some suggestions. Here's a peek (with some ideas of our own) ... and don't forget to subscribe to the CafeMom Studios YouTube Channel for more ideas!


The most important one? Schedule sexytime. I must agree. If you wait for the right combination of mood and opportunity to strike, it might never happen. If you can settle on an hour of Business Time every Tuesday, you'll both get what you need. Scrap any thought of it being unromantic, because you know what's unromantic? Not having sex.

If your partner is always putting the moves on when you are exhausted, let him know that bedtime, when you're ready to fall over, is probably not the best time to ask but you would be amenable during naptime or open to waking up a little early.

Maybe things have gotten just a little boring? After all, you know each other's turn-ons so well, you probably go there without thinking. Well start thinking! It's up to you to suggest new things to try ... and it doesn't have to be crazy. Maybe christen a different room?

Sometimes, sex just hurts. Instead of making your partner feel like he's making you miserable when he's trying to do the exact opposite, explain to him (outside the bedroom!) that it's a physical thing, and see your OB.

Are you feeling too busy and overwhelmed? Really think about how you're spending your time. If you spend an hour on Words With Friends to unwind, maybe some of that time can be used for, um, dirty words with your special friend!

Most importantly, communicate, communicate, communicate. Be upfront about what you need, and encourage your partner to do the same. Those conversations don't have to be uncomfortable. They can even be fun!

A few other points not in the video (bonus!):

Are you worried about being interrupted? Getting away from the kids isn't always possible, so you have to work around it. Two words: Shag lock. It takes two minutes to install a little hook-and-eye lock on the bedroom door and it's invaluable to help you both relax without worrying about getting walked in on.

Make sure you are giving and receiving affection without it being an attempt at sex, and nurture the spark in your relationship in nonsexual ways, with inside jokes and a show of concern for each other. Remember that you got into this Mommy and Daddy business with each other for a reason!

Sometimes, you don't feel great about any lingering baby weight or what pregnancy and breastfeeding can do to your body. This is a time to ask for reassurance from your partner. Ask what he finds really sexy about your postpartum body. You might be surprised to discover he likes a little more junk in your trunk!

Check out the video and let us know what you think.


How did you get your sexy back once you had kids? Are you still searching for it?

If you're looking for more ideas on getting sexy back -- or just on being a more well-rounded mom -- subscribe to the CafeMom Studios YouTube Channel.

Image via The Lingerie Addict/Flickr

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