Good Sex Should Not Have to Last All Night Long

red bullThe other day, I stumbled across an article on CNN discussing the "other male problem." It was referring to premature ejaculation (men who can't hold on longer than a minute). And while premature ejaculation (PE) is its own nightmare, the idea that women want long, pounding, all night sex sessions is simply just outdated and wrong.

Women talk. And most of what I hear from my friends and myself is that 10-15 minutes of actual intercourse is plenty. Sure, we want foreplay and romance and cuddling after, but a man who can last 10 minutes is usually right on target.

And yet if you talk to men, you get something else entirely.


They joke: "I am going to give her the best 10 minutes of her life," they might say. But behind that bravado is actual shame and feelings of inadequacy as if 10 minutes is somehow way too short.

And while obviously there are exceptions -- after all, what honeymooner or early couple doesn't love the occasional all-night sex session? -- generally speaking, 10 minutes is plenty.

We get sore! We get bored! For many women, 10 minutes is enough to hit their orgasm, so anything after that just feels a little like overkill and may result in boredom (and soreness). If you can get her to orgasm, you have done your job, good sir. You can stop now.

I know I don't speak for all women, and sure, there are likely women who like to be banged all night long. Good on them. Talk with your partner. If she is like that, then carry on. But many, many women are happy and satisfied with a 10-minute session bookended by a little foreplay and a little cuddling.

"Lasting" is lovely, but give me 10 skilled minutes most days and I am a happy and satisfied woman. I have things to do!

Besides, usually even "all night sex" had some periods of rest. Think multiple times over one time that lasts 3 hours. Our vaginas need some rest, dudes. Chafing is a very real problem.

Do you think all-night sex is overrated?


Image via M. Keefe/Flickr

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