Naked Photos Could Predict How Long Celebrity Marriages Will Last (VIDEO)

jennie garth peter facinelliCan you believe, Jennie Garth and Peter Facinelli are splitsville! Who could have predicted that? Maybe this handy-dandy formula for predicting how long celebrity marriages will last could have. Just plug in a few factors, like how many naked pictures of the wife there are on the Internet, plus or minus their ages, and PRESTO! We find out how likely it is that the couple will make it one, five, or fifteen years together.

Finally, mathematicians, you invent something useful and relevant!

(I'm KIDDING, people, geez.) Okay, but the best part of this formula is what it reveals about celebrity couples. You won't believe ... it's almost all up to the wives! Who says women don't have power in Hollywood?

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Okay, here's the data you need for this formula:

  • Number of mentions of the wife since 1990 in The New York Times vs. National Enquirer
  • Age difference between husband and wife
  • Number of months the couple dated before marrying
  • Number of scantily-clad photos that surface among first five photos from Google Image search for wife's name

So a lot of this depends on how many naked cellphone pictures of the bride have been leaked, or how many times she's posed on Maxim wearing floss. And her fame matters way more than his. Does she get talked about more in the tabloids or in film and music reviews for actually, you know, doing something noteworthy? If she spends more time in the tabloids shuffling through snowdrifts of cocaine in her platform heels, it doesn't bode well for the marriage.

So in some ways this is kind of ... duh. Of course hasty marriages are riskier. Of course big age differences can be tricky. But then we get to the sexy images and ... well I'll let Dr. Buss explain: "Research has documented that women who wear skimpy or sexually provocative clothing tend to be higher on the trait of narcissism." Which is NOT AT ALL sexist, really. Also, narcissists tend to cheat more, so there's that. I knew we could find a way to blame/slut-shame women! Well done there, you guys.

 

 

Do you think this formula really works?


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