'Scary' Single Women Actually Have It Made

The single woman is still, even in 2012, a year where we are supposed to be all enlightened, a vilified entity. This is, according to Slate, a problem we will always be dealing with. For some reason, single women terrify us as a culture. And yet, the reality is, there are many plusses to being single over being married.

Yep, you read that right. Despite our societal and collective fears of "crazy cat ladies" and "old maids" and whatever cruel and mean ways we find to demean women who don't get married, the fact is, there are huge benefits to remaining single.

I have been married nearly a decade and with my husband for even longer and never once have I regretted our union. Still, I have many single friends. And I don't fear them or even feel sorry for them (unless they feel sorry for themselves), but I do sometimes envy them.


Unlike women who never marry, I have had the benefit of being on both sides of the equation. I have been single, too. And while I don't know what it's like to be in my mid-30s and single, I do know what it's like to be both single AND married. Believe me when I say there are many things that are better about being single, even long term.

Sure, there are pieces that are missing, but that can be true even in a marriage. So what are some of the things single people have that married couples don't? Here are 7:

  • Your side of the bed is yours: I can't tell you how many times I get up to go to the bathroom and my husband has slid onto my side of the bed. When he travels for work, I am often sad when he leaves, but secretly I relish having the bed to myself in ways I can't possibly explain.
  • There is no fight over the light at night: At least every other night, my husband and I fight over his desire to stay up and read and my need to sleep.
  • You can have sex with new people: 'Nuff said.
  • You have freedom: You can spend your money however you want without someone telling you it's irresponsible. You can stay out until 3 a.m. without anyone asking where you are.
  • You have possibility: When you get married, you close a door. It's wonderful to spend your life next to someone, but it's very rarely new and exciting. When you are single, every party, every date, every moment is full of possibility.
  • You have flexibility: You can move to NYC or San Francisco and never ask anyone for permission or have to think of anyone else.
  • You answer to you: If you want to eat a handful of goldfish and six cookies for dinner, that is fine. You don't need to ask anyone's permission and your choices are your own.

This isn't to say that it's never lonely or hard. It was and I remember. But for some people, being single really is preferable and I'm not scared of that at all. It makes perfect sense and kudos to them for not being afraid to step outside others' expectations.

It's 2012, people. Let's get over it.

Do you think being single is weird?


Image via exfordy/Flickr

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