15 Worst Valentine's Day Gifts Received By Real Women

Scary Mommy's Valentine collection

I'm not a big believer in Valentine's Day. My husband is the romantic one in our marriage while I roll my eyes at the sappy cards he presents me with year after year. Last year, after celebrating 15 years of me griping about the price of flowers and returning jewelry I didn't like, he finally got the hint and got me ... nothing. Unlike most of my friends, I really didn't mind. Plus, compared to some of the whoppers below, nothing seems like the best gift ever.


1. A T-shirt ... with Looney Tunes characters on it. Now if that doesn't say love, I don't know what does. -- Lindsay

2. Real flowers ... after telling him I'm highly allergic. Spent the day sleeping off the Benadryl. -- Mariah

3. A stationary bike ... Am I that fat? -- Jennifer

4. An Ugly Dog purse, with a card for the girl he was cheating on me with inside. -- Jen

5. A royal blue "LOVE" stamp sweatshirt from the post office. -- Kimberly

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6. A card from the dollar store that had a teddy bear on it and it said, "To my friend on Valentine's Day." Someone forgot his glasses. -- Mara

7. A half-eaten bag of pink and red M&M's. He said he got hungry on the way home. -- Jennifer

8. A half dozen nearly dead roses and a card in Spanish because all of the other cards were gone. -- Kerri

9. One of those razors that yanks the hair out by the roots ... OUCH! Guess my husband was giving me a hint. -- Wendy

10. Lice. He bought me a hat at a secondhand store, and three days later, our whole house was infected. -- Brandy

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11. A DustBuster. No, really. -- Sharon

12. A plastic rose. The year after I got a ... plastic rose. -- Shannon

13. An unsigned card, because he wanted to be able to reuse it the next year. -- Kaitlyn

14. A pickle book. A recipe book to show 1,001 ways to cook pickles. -- Beckey

15. Getting dumped ... 2 years in a row! -- Sarah

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