Her Date Got Drunk & Stole Food (And That's Not the Worst Part!)

What you are about to read are horrifying tales of love gone wrong just in time for Valentine's Day. Welcome to Dating Horror Story Week on The Stir ...

For any woman who makes it to about 25 without a wedding ring, there is usually one or two dating horror stories under her belt. They're a rite of passage in a sick sort of way, a chance to have a great story to tell someday. But in the moment, they're awful.

For the past week we've been recounting some of our tales of dating woe and a reader wrote in with a story so egregious, so disturbing, that it warranted one last installment. Let's call this, Laura M.'s Date With the Peeing Bandit. Shudder. 

Thank you to Laura M. for sending it in. See below:


It was late 2004 and I was working in the telecommunications field with the hottest guy I had ever seen. His name was Matt (not really, but let’s just go with that) and he was a muscular, tattooed, hunk of a guy that just happened to be interested in me ... as a friend. I tried everything to get him to notice me as something more. I got him cups of coffee from the break room. I made sure that our lunch schedules just happened to coincide. I even signed up for job training classes with him. Was I lightly stalking him? Maybe. But I was a woman on a mission.

And that mission paid off when he finally asked me out for drinks after work.

We talked for hours and I was so thrilled that I wanted to go out and buy a diary just so I could write down his name with a big heart drawn around it. I was so smitten. Somewhere between the Bud Light and the boneless buffalo wings, we decided to go out “for real."

We met at his restaurant of choice -- the local chain we had been visiting every week for drinks. I was hoping for something a little more special, but there were those tired old buffalo wings and bottles of Bud Light. It was then that he announced his decision to turn vegetarian. Now, I have no problem with vegetarians, but last I checked, chicken is meat. I ended up eating all the wings while he drank. And drank.

We -- well he -- spent the whole time talking about how he wanted to work on his abs. Then he stepped outside for a cigarette while I went to ladies’ room.

When I got back to the table, he wasn't there. I went outside and found him smoking. He told me that he just paid for the meal and was ready to go to another bar. I was so turned off by his slurred speech and his narcissistic attitude that I told him that I was going home. He got mad and started yelling, but in the middle of yelling, he decided that he needed to pee ... on my car. Actually, he started off peeing near my car, but because he was so bombed, he ended up peeing on the side of it. I yelled at him and called his brother because he was too drunk. The brother showed up and told me that they were going to go and get hammered. Um ... too late.

As I was driving home in tears, my right back tire was making all kinds of noise. It felt like something was stuck to it. When I pulled over in front of my house, I leaned down to look at the tire. Underneath the rim was something that I never expected to see -- an empty box of veggie burgers. When I saw Mr. Spontaneous Vegetarian at work, I asked him if he put the box there and he said that he did because he didn't know where else to get rid of it. OK, then.

Later, he explained that he had not, in fact, even paid for the meal. He just walked out of the restaurant. We never went out again, natch. The crush I had on him came to an abrupt end, and I vowed to never date anyone from work ever again.

Does this one take the cake or what? What was your worst date?

Image via Eurapart/Flickr

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