Gwyneth Paltrow's Marriage Advice Isn't That Insane

gwyneth paltrow cover of harper's bazaarYou can always count on Gwyneth Paltrow to bring at least a little GOOP-y loony when she's interviewed, and her new Harper's Bazaar sit-down was no exception. We've already covered that she called her daughter, Apple, a "lipstick lesbian" (oh yes, that happened). But how about her thoughts on relationships ... wacko or wise? Surprisingly, I have to say ... the latter! Although, it sort of depends on how you, err, interpret it.

Gwynnie basically made a remark that she thinks will have Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton turning in their graves and Gloria Steinem and Betty Friedan clucking their tongues. She said, "If you want what you're saying you want -- a family -- you have to be a wife, and that is part of the equation." Hold up, it's not as anti-feminist as it sounds.

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I would be the first one to call a crazy celeb out on their backasswards sexist rants, but this wasn't that. Gwyneth prefaced the remark by talking about a friend of hers who is an actress "in a new relationship with someone else with a big career," and said, "You have to compromise." She acknowledged Steinem may "string her up by her toes," but "all I can do is my best, and I can do only what works for me and my family." There, that wasn't so bad, right? She did say, "I want to maintain my marriage and my family, so I have to be here when [my husband] comes home," but that's what works for her. Perhaps that's their compromise or an expectation she sets for herself. I don't think she's insinuating that all women need to meet their hard-working husbands at the door a la Donna Reed in order to keep their marriage alive.

What it seems she meant to convey is that when you're married, you have to strike a balance between love and your career. I totally get where she's coming from. I believe women can have it all, but yeah, sometimes we have to do a little give and take in order to have it all. You have to be willing to take a vacation day here and there to spend QT with your hubby, and on the other hand, he's gotta understand when you've got a huge deadline to meet, and you can't be showering him in affection (aka staying up late for sex that night).  

She just meant be a wife -- as in, give your relationship with your husband the attention it deserves. Make your marriage a priority, put your love and sex life at the top of your list -- along with your work and your kids and everything else. Hell no it's not easy ... but that's what both partners sign up for when they said, "I do." And as long as you're happy, the pros of working to strike that ultimate balance must outweigh the cons. 

Do you agree with Gwyneth that you have to make compromises to have a husband/family? 

 

Image via Harper's Bazaar

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