Being Single Means You’ll Die Stressed Out & Alone -- No Joke

table for oneYou know, being single has a lot of perks. You can watch Friends reruns until 2 a.m. without anyone caring, you can eat fluffernutters for dinner wearing a velour tracksuit, and you can cut your toenails in the living room. I mean, come on, it doesn't get much better than that. But don't tell scientists all this -- they won't believe you when you say you're happy. According to some of their data, it's only possible to be happy and healthy when you're paired up with a partner.

Researchers examined cortisol levels in couples who lived together before, during, and after a seven-day separation period. And guess what! They were stressed out, non-sleeping messes when they were apart, "proving" once again that singletons are destined to die alone, anxious and tense, cortisol levels through the roof, in a pile of their own toenail clippings.


The scientists go on to say that this little study is just another notch in their belt in showing how romantic ties are beneficial for our health.

So I guess the news is good for those of you out there who've found your lobster, and bad news for those out there who are still watching TBS reruns at wee hours in the morning. It's another high five for the married folks, another slap on the wrist for single ones.

But whatareyougonnado. If you're married, then I say throw yourself a party and do a little jig because you are one healthy and happy individual who's winning at life. And if you're single, look to your left. Now to your right. Is there any guy near you that looks like he won't kill you in your sleep nor eat human babies? Then you might as well take one for the team ("team" meaning you, your health, and your cortisol levels) and shack up with the dude. Your body, it seems, will thank you in the long run.

Do you pay any attention to research like this?


Photo via Ran Yaniv Hartstein/Flickr

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